Disciplining a 14 month old

[MooseBreath]

DS is 14 months old. He was an early teether (first tooth a 3 months) and already has 12 ridiculously sharp teeth.

He has been biting DH and I since he started teething and because of his age, we really couldn't do anything about it. But now that DS is older, I am concerned not only that he now thinks biting is normal and acceptable behaviour, but that he has a lot of teeth and it really hurts! When he bites, I say a firm "No DS, we do not bite" and give him something to chew on, but to no avail.

In the last two months or so, DS started hitting DH and I (as well as close family members) in the face. I think he does it purely to get a reaction, but I don't know how to teach him not to hit. I have tried to redirect his attention, firmly say "No DS, we do not hit", and simply ignore the behaviour. None of these tactics have worked.

I absolutely adore my son and recognize that he is only 14 months and is still tiny. He has such a sweet demeanour, and I don't think any of this behaviour is done in anger or out of malice. That said, I am very worried that his behaviour could happen at nursery and could hurt another child.

Does anybody have any tips on how I can teach DS not to hit or bite?

You can’t discipline a 14 month old, and it’s definitely not from a place of malice. His brain simply isn’t developed enough for those concepts.

It sounds like you’re doing the right thing. Correct the behaviour every time by moving yourself out of range and saying ‘I won’t let you hit / bite me’. He will eventually learn but at the moment he’s just way too young to understand rules / empathy / impulse control etc. He’ll get there with endless consistent modelling, but there is no quick fix.

Don’t worry about nursery - they will manage his behaviour and work to prevent incidents, and will also understand that biting is normal baby behaviour, not naughtiness or meanness.

I would remove yourself, If he bites say ‘no’ then stand up and walk away.

This is going to sound strange but Act how you act when he is hurt. So if when he bumps himself you normally rub it better, then when he hits, say aw and then rub it so he can see it's the same feeling/ reaction.

I agree with previous posts.
I would also say "OUCH!"
That shows him how it feels.

A short sharp no will have worked with my little boy at that age, I also did this with my other child when he pulled my hair. Each child is different though and some say that such a reaction may make it seem fun. 🤷‍♀️

A stern "no" or "stop" then put him down and give him absolutely no attention for a minute.

When DS did this at that age, I would frown and say, 'Ow! That hurt! Don't hurt me. It makes me sad/cross.' That way they learn that what they do has a proper effect on others. How can they learn this unless we show them?

As above, also…

Teeth are not for biting & Hands are not for hitting are good picture books

@robotcollision

When DS did this at that age, I would frown and say, 'Ow! That hurt! Don't hurt me. It makes me sad/cross.' That way they learn that what they do has a proper effect on others. How can they learn this unless we show them?

This. Look sad when he does it.

Don't worry too much about nursery until it becomes an issue there, it is something they will be able to deal with.

Title made me laugh!

Also a reaction made my DS pee himself laughing. A firm NO and zero attention worked quickly at a similar age.

Prevention is better than punishment, so try to keep an eye on him and look for the little signs he's about to bite and physically block or remove him, offering a suitable alternative. I find frozen teethers are the best.

Yes to saying no or ouch if he does manage to bite you, but don't expect that to affect his behaviour next time. It's just to give him information about how you feel about it.

With my DC when they were bitey it meant they were teething so consider pain relief.

Lots of ideas here, thank you! I hadn't considered looking sad or hurt, so will try that along with the sharp "no" and ignore.

DS is definitely like some of the PPs children - he laughs loads when I say no! It makes me feel much better that this is normal.

They hate being ignored at that age so if you swiftly put them down and walk away from them when they bite or hit, they learn very quickly.
Avoid too many words: they don't have a grasp of much language so long explanations are pointless.
So 'ouch, you bit me!' put them down, stand up, walk away.

Some children do that. My son did it with very sharp little nails that hurt a lot - but he grew out of it. No disciplining possible at that age. I don't think they can remember for long enough and it seems to be something instinctive and impulsive.

Perhaps discipline is too strong a word. Think of it as consequences.
You bite me means I put you down and walk away.

Mine isn't a biter but he isn't gentle by any means and if he gets too much and its getting sore I place him on the floor (possibly a little more firmly than usual but not in any way hard) and say and sign all done hitting mummy, we use gentle hands. There are usually tears which I guess means he knows its not a game but then obviously if he is upset I do pick him up to comfort him.

I agree with other posters though, usually mine is needing a nap when he gets a bit more rough, can you see times when he is biting more than others? Does he need calpol or a teether?

With both mine I say no and move them away from me; even if that means putting them down on the floor. It takes weeks to work though!

With hitting...We model gentle hands, and help little one to stroke gently, or alternatively offer a hand for high fives instead. With teeth, we empathize that they might be sore and offer something that is for biting instead like a teether. They are still so little at 14 months

We had a similar issue with my DS. He too had a good nature but it was becoming worrying, we would firmly tell him no and with repetition he eventually learned not to do it. What also helped was that we recognised if we were in a lower position than him e.g. playing with him on the floor it was too tempting for him to hit out at us. So we started to make sure that we physically higher than he was. That did the trick. He never hit out at nursery but we worried one day that would happen