Feel so lonely - can anyone cheer me up?

[thaimoon]

First off, I know I'm very lucky. I have a beautiful little girl who is my whole world. She's nearly one.

In lockdown we kind of got used to not seeing people but my DH was working from home so we saw him lots, and my parents were in our bubble so we saw them too.

When restrictions eased though, instead of feeling suddenly surrounded by my friends and people we couldn't see I find myself feeling more and more lonely.

We go to groups and swimming but whilst people are chatty and friendly it obviously takes time before you can make proper friends.

My friends without kids are working and when they're not they're going out and seeing their other single mates or understandably wanting to do activities that don't involve or don't suit kids very well.

My friends with kids are not too local so it takes a lot of organising to meet.

My in laws and parents are working or busy seeing friends- it feels like they have a better social life than me, in fact, they do!

I find myself walking up and down the high street with the pram because it's the busiest place and I just want to be near people. I feel desperately lonely even with my baby with me.

It's my anniversary today and I thought I would hear from people but I think they are busy. I've sent messages asking if friends want to meet but no replies, or replies saying they are busy.

So... I wonder if it's me? Does anyone else feel the same with young children? Any tips to help at all? Thanks in advance lovely people

OP I feel very similar. I moved 300 miles from family 3 years ago, so I still don't know many people, but I've got some friends, one who is like a best friend. I have a nearly 14m old. But no one else has kids. I've met up with friends, but i feel a bit guilty bringing a baby to a catch up lunch all the time. And as you say, it takes time to make friends, and my play group has only just started up.

No advice. Just, you aren't alone.

Have you tried Peanut? It’s an app for meeting local moms. I’ve met up with some lovely ladies and made some good friends. You could chat to loads of people on there and I’m sure there would always be one who was free when you fancied going out for a bit.

Do you live in the area where you grew up? I saw on social media some friends from school who I had lost touch with who had also had children around the same age. I sent a few messages and they were happy to meet. We had other things like school to discuss as well as children so the conversation flowed freely. I now have a few good friends who I meet often for play dates and also for nights out

Sending you a big hug. If you don’t have any local mum friends I think you must feel the absence of your “old life” a lot and really take note of what friends without children are up to. Once you have some I find this lessens. I know you’ve said that it takes effort to make friends at baby groups but in my experience it actually just takes the courage to ask for a number. Can you brave it and initiate a chat with someone at the beginning of the baby group and before you go ask for their number in case they fancy a coffee? I very much doubt anybody would say no! Peanut is also a good shout as a PP has mentioned. Can you also make time to text old friends and ask what they are up to? It doesn’t have to be arranging a meet up each time but if you show interest in what they are up to perhaps it will reignite the closeness you had before? I find phone chats often make me feel as good as a physical meet up and I often call a friend who is WFH when I am out with the pram