Health Visitors

[Fidgitigdif123]

Hiya everyone,

Can you decline the help of health visitors from the very start? Is it compulsory to have them come round?

When my daughter (first baby) was born I found them very unhelpful, and they often wouldn't show up when they were supposed to.
I had a very traumatic birth, and my mental health took a massive hit. I really needed their support, but it was like they weren't interested. There was no kind of advice or support at all. I actually ended up needing life saving surgery when my daughter was 9 weeks old, due to complications with my C section wound, and when I mentioned this to them, they said they would check up on me, but they never did. Every time I phoned for advice, I was made to feel stupid.
They were absolutely useless, and I'd rather not bother with them again.

I found reading threads on here to be really helpful!
That, and along with advice from my own mother and a few friends, I feel I would be better off just ditching the health visitor all together, including their first newborn visit they do in the first couple of weeks.

From what I've heard the service is optional so you'd be within your rights to do so.

I've found even though I haven't ditched them I haven't seen mine! Couldn't tell you who it is & have had one 10 min zoom check up since DD was born 7 months ago.

Yes, you can decline them from the start. Just call up or send them an email stating that you do not wish to use the service.

At her first visit my HV told me that I could refuse visits if I wanted or I could request that the HV doesn't do home visits and ask for them to be done at the health centre instead (where she's based).

I have friends who haven't seen their HV since they returned to work because HV's only work week days when they are at work or they don't see the point because their LO's are at nursery.

Due to Covid I haven't seen my HV for a year and a half. She hasn't seen my two year old since he was 6 months and she never did my five year olds handover to Primary School either.

You can of course decline them, they are optional (unless there's a massive drip feed here like you're known to social services etc, in which case they're still technically optional but not really) but it might be worth meeting your new one this time and seeing. My health visitor is absolutely amazing and one of the key people in my support network. She's really fab and I appreciate her loads. So you might get a better one this time?

Ofcourse you can decline them, nobody has the right to have access to your home or your DC unless there’s an issue extraordinary/ emergency situation.

Honestly I don't see the point of them other than to make the initial home visits to make sure you don't live in a dump.

I haven't ever met mine, she was on holiday when DS was first born so her cover came to see us at the house and I think it was someone random at the 6 week and 1 year appointments.

You can decline the service but I get the impression that it raises a bit of a red flag for them.

I think it’s fine to decline their help. It frees them to help women who really need them.
I personally didn’t find mine very helpful with pnd but my friend had a baby with complex medical needs and her health visitor was great at organising hospital appointments and keeping track of everything that was going on with the baby.
I think mostly health visitors are so stretched that most of their time is spent on child protection work (that’s my impression from a friend who is a health visitor)

Thanks everyone