3 year old daughter scared of public handdryers!

[oldermummytobe]

Hi All,
This may sound minor, but my little girl has developed a big issue about public toilet handdryers. She is no longer in nappies during the day (only pull ups at night) and uses the potty at home when downstairs, but happy to use 'big girl toilet' upstairs. She will be sat on a public toilet and do her business, as long as there is no handdryer in sight. it's got to the point now where she is asking if there is a handdryer before we've even got out of car to our destination.

We are moving house soon, and plan to ditch the potty completely, as she keeps wanting to use the potty when out rather than go in toilets.
I end up having to give in as it's so bloody traumatic for us all when those handdryers go off I think the entire county can hear her.

Please can anyone offer some useful tips on how to get her over this? I have considered the 'forced exposure' approach but feel a bit cruel doing that, as she is only 3. But how do I approach gradually??

We have also just found out I am expecting again, so want to get this sorted sooner rather than later, as I can't cope with the physical battles!

Look forward to any suggestions

Thank you :)

Is it the noise or something else? If the noise would ear defenders help.

Could you make a ready toilet our of boxes including a hand driver and play through different scenarios to build familiarity without any fear? She might explain what she dislikes via a toy as well.

P.s my daughter was scared of hand dryers, especially noisy Dysons. Now 17 (all grown up) and will choose paper but will use a dryer is necessary.

I had exactly the same problem with my 3 year old. I was very worried. He got over it by 4. Now my two year olds are the same and I am not worrying about it because I assume they will also grow out of it.

Following as my 4 year old is the same!!! She literally asks before we go into a toilet if there are towels or a handryer 🙄 and will hold off going for as long as possible then keep her hands over her ears the whole time we are in there. I spoke to a few friends and it seems a very common thing that a lot of kids grow out of…thankfully!!!

Yup mine had the same, once she was taller and out of the direct line of fire it was much better!

My 5 year old hates hand dryers and my 7 year old still jumps if she’s in a loo and one goes off.

I’ve just dried my hands on loo roll / towels / my trousers for seven years when out with the DC.

Now wondering if this wasn’t the way…

Both my girls HATED the hand dryers when little - I don’t like them much either. We used to just shake our hands and let them dry naturally :)

Maybe worse for little ones, who’s ears are closer to the level of the dryer? So they get the noise full on plus their face/hair blown about like a minor tornado.

Mine's the same. We just keep going to the bathrooms even if I do have to carry him past the dryer

Ah, thank you everyone!

I think initially it was the noise, where it's so sudden and loud. She will panic and scream her head off. What I find amusing is how other people in the toilets can see what is happening but all keep going to the handdryers which makes her screaming escalate.
I will try roll-play idea, to try and establish what is underlying. She is going through a very dramatic, bossy and defiant phase, so I think that's all tied in!

I also remember being very little and scared of my granddads hoover, so I can cut her some slack.

reassured to hear your children have got over it!

Thank you

My 3 yo DD has the same fear as does her friend at nursery so it's clearly common.
I've managed to get around it a few times by rewarding her for being brave if she goes.
Its probably bad to reward it but it works and she feels so proud of herself.

@Becky274 I wonder if a snazzy pair of ear covers/muffs would help ?? :)

Mine was the same & she was scared of nothing when small.

Turned out she wasn't actually frightened of it, but couldn't cope with the noise. Later diagnosed with SPD

Some kid (!) did a study that showed that hand dryers are super-noisy (to the extent of being close to being damaging) to kids since their ears are much closer to them. So, yes, they're noisy to us, and they're even noisier to kids. My DS was really scared of them, but has grown out of it now (maybe as he got taller?).

Mine hates it. I find if you have a loud dialogue with the child about 'I know you're scared of the dryers, don't worry we won't have to use it' or just ask most people are kind enough not to use them.
I always use individual toilets like the baby change where possible.

My girl is 3 and is tue same. I presume it's a phase as her older brother was the same. I let her dry her hands on the inside of my cardigan or underside of my skirt, if there are no hand towels, or offer her an antibac hand wipe, so she doesn't use the drier but I explain that the sound is a lady drying her hands after washing them.

Could you talk about the drier as you go in, why people use them, what noise they make etc. Get her to make the noise as it might distract her from the real noise if a drier starts up but otherwise distract with anything - talk about where you are, daddy waiting outside etc., sing songs to her. It will pass in time. In terms of her asking if there's a drier, offer to go and see, and talk about what you'll do if it sounds, how it's noisy but won't hurt you and is really helpful, like the microwave or hoover at home.

I don't blame her. They're really noisy. I am quite sensitive to loud noises and either drip dry or use toilet paper to dry off.

Mine is 7 and still hates them and won’t use them!

Thanks everyone , some really helpful comments and great to know I'm not alone!

I'm glad to hear also that her behaviour is reasonable, as I worry sometimes that people may think I'm being too soft !

I will try to view the noise from her perspective as just saying 'they won't hurt you' isn't working...as clearly the noise is hurting her ears!!

Yes, mine too. It's really common apparently. At the nursery there is a hand dryer but the staff turned it off years ago and used towels because the hand dryer caused so much upset for many.

Don't agree with this at all, but a family member took their child outside to wee in a bush or car park for over a year as they were scared of the dryers.
My DS isn't a huge fan and will ask not to use it, but no chance am I taking him out of wherever we are and letting him wee in a bush!
You're definitely doing the right thing!

My son is 5 and still scared of the dryer. I offer to cover his ears and if we are in the cubicle we wait for the dryer to stop before leaving. Sometimes we use the disabled loo especially somewhere like a motorway service station where the dryers are constantly in use.

Totally normal. Acknowledge it, 'you feel scared by the loud noise'. My son (almost 4) is still scared. We get by by looking for them in public toilets and pointing them out. We used disabled loos as much as poss to avoid going into the ones where he can get the unexpected 'noise'. I sometimes dare him to touch it to face his fear but he'll get there. We also watched Maddie's 'do you know' handdrier episode which helped

My 6yo is terrified of them. He uses ear defenders and they really help (not just in this situation).

mine is the same, they should be banned. I never use them they are awful for children. Defo use the disabled loo so you dont need to hear it.

oldermummytobe, I hated the vacuum cleaner too, was terrified of it when I was a child. I still found it disturbing as an adult.

What was worse, my mum kept a Goblin cleaner upstairs to do the bedrooms and landing. It was in a box with a nasty picture on it. An aunt had given it to her. She used to say, "I really like my Goblin".