Toddler jealous of baby

[Carleton]

Hi

I have a 2.9 year old boy and a 4 month old baby girl. My son is very jealous of the baby,takes all toys off her, trys hitting her if she has something he wants etc. I had hoped he would be used to her by now. He is the same with his cousin who is 14months,doesn't let her have any toys when she comes. When can I expect him to get better . He will be 3 in November.i do tell him all the time, had all the sharing hands are nit for hitting etc. He can be nice to the baby ,kisses her etc but 80 percent of the time if she's getting any attention he's not happy .just looking for light at the end if the tunnel as it gets me down.im hoping to hear from others who's had similar age gaps. Thanks

Meant to add,he ll be starting nursery next month and I'm worried he's going to be the same there. He was fine until cousin and baby sister came along, all started from there really

My 3.5 year old got loads better after a while, but still won't let me 1.5 year old have toys. Everything he plays with he wants it's so bloody annoying and there's only so many times you can put him on the stairs. When you find the magical solution, please share. It does get a bit better though, the 1.5 year old has now started pushing the older one out the way and they compete to sit on my lap etc. It's all rather tiring. Zz

Oh and my 3.5 year old is an angel at nursery, he wouldn't dare show that behaviour there. He knows it is wrong, but he still won't let his little brother have anything to himself.

Thanks opalfeet. I think he'll be like it for a good while yet,god help me

Does he have time with you alone? Did you get him excited about being a big brother? Do you praise him when he helps with the baby in any way? (getting a nappy etc) ..

Some people do everything to prepare the older child and it still doesn't work despite daily 1-2-1 time with them.... Other toddlers I feel sorry for as they get no time alone with parent and are very much pushed out (often due to issues with baby, ill mum, grandparents or other stressors) which is totally understandable but doesn't make it any easier for them.

In reality nursery might make situation a lot better.. Fun stuff, new 'friends', no boring younger sibling 🙄 and 1-2-1 time with mummy outside that.... It just might help you turn the corner.

You have my sympathy as it's hard

@happytoday73 I can't speak to the op, but I did all that for my little one and I think in probs made it worse by love bombing him. 🤦‍♀️

I meant for, not to. 🤦‍♀️ Everything is a phase is my motto. My two played wrestling on the bed after their bath yesterday,. They were giggling and were so happy. Afterwards my 1.5 year old said night night and hugged his older brother as I took his older brother to bed. Despite all the competition and the snatching they've developed a lovely bond. 🥰

Tried all that happy feet. I'm lucky I have my mother's help most days so I can get plenty of alone time with him but hes still the same.Hopefully it's just a phase

I dunno OP, my 60 year old brother still resents my being born 58 years ago! I think his 2 year old's ego has never got over the shocking insult that clearly our parents didn't think he was as wonderful and perfect as he believed himself to be, so they had another go - how very dare they?!