Did I expect too much?

[rachelrainbow]

I’ve always dreamed of being a mother. It’s been my life goal. It took us a long time to conceive and, after two losses, our darling daughter was born back in October. She’s now 9 months old.

I love her so much but the whole motherhood thing is much harder than I expected. I thought I’d feel an instant bond with her but she sometimes feels like a little stranger. I am convinced there’s something wrong with her socially as she doesn’t make great eye contact and is very quiet. She also doesnt imitate yet (no gestures like waving or clapping). I am just a ball of worry. I’m desperate for some sort of connection. Did I expect too much from motherhood? Is this normal? Xx

Honestly, don't worry yet. I know it's easy say, but I certainly wasted a lot of energy on anxiety about my first child. I remember sitting in a baby class and the leader saying most babies are waving by 10 months and thinking shit. But then my DH would leave early for work and we never waved, cue waving at everything and a month later so was he, age 11 months. Same thing with pointing, I started to model it and show him pointing in a book or at the ducks and he started too.

I think Motherhood is a lot of graft but if you look at their photos and think awww or just want to squish them when they are asleep ( but don't dare as you don't won't to wake them) then you love them.

You probably did expect too much. I think lots and lost of people do. They expect movie motherhood and that's just not the reality.

Anxiety is natural, you've just landed the hardest job in the world. Just try not to let it spoil your time with your baby. Deal with things day to day.

Speak to your HV if you have concerns. Read a book about baby development to get an idea of what is normal variation and what is delayed development.