Not playing with baby enough

[Paddingtonmum]

My LO is almost 8 months old and I worry I'm not playing with him enough. We read and I'll play puzzles and toys with him but he gets bored quite easy, so I feel as though I tend to put the TV on for him which he loves or put him in his bouncer/ on his tummy to play a lot. Is this a normal mum guilt feeling or should I be doing more? It's hard at this age as he doesn't seem massively engaged for long

@milkieway

Bless you that must be really hard you can't get on/ off floor, when you do play with baby are you on a chair / baby on floor? Do you manage to carry baby around with you atm in your arms? X

I always play with him on my knee whilst I'm sitting on the sofa, and we bought a chaise lounge thing so I will put a mat on there and lay him on it so I can sit with him and play with him. I had a really bad flare up with my disease when I gave birth to him so couldn't hold him, or do anything... I couldn't even walk unaccompanied for the first 2 months of his life

I can carry him now but not for long periods of time, so I tend to use a baby sling to move around with him. I'm lucky to have a lot of family support who are always around to help, but definitely feel like sometimes I resort to putting him in his jumper/ chair/ mat ebecause I feel as though there isn't much that I can do with him. I just spend a lot of time doing things I can do, like reading to him on my knee, tummy time on my chest on sofa, etc. It's a strange one being a young mum with a muscle disease for sure!

@Apeirogon

MiddleParking it's not the content that is the problem, it's just that watching lots of TV before age 2-3 is associated with slower language development. It's fine to use the TV for short periods when you need a break, but it should be kept to a minimum if possible.

I didn't realise this, thanks for sharing. Is it associated with slower language development because you're not spending the time talking to LO? Really interesting and good to know

If you want to keep baby safe and occupied in one place, can't you put them in a jumperoo, "activity centre" (like the skip hop one) or a playpen or travel cot?

Sorry I had missed your most recent posts.
It sounds tough for you and it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job.
Try not to feel guilty. You are more than enough for your baby
(Also do you get PIP? And I wonder if you could get a home start volunteer to help you?)

@Paddingtonmum sounds like you're doing brilliantly!

?What about using your bed as another play space - if you sat one side and popped a bed rail on the other with baby in the middle you could have some toys on there together ?

I am a speech therapist and there is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling up on the sofa and watching a bit of tele together every now and then. My little boy loves watching nursery rhymes. The main thing is it's not on all day (and not on as background noise during the day) and then otherwise you and baby have lots of face to face time to interact chat and sing I think the problem with tv comes if it's on all the time and baby isn't then having much interaction from care giver but certainly doesn't sound like that's the case for you x

@NameChange30

Sorry I had missed your most recent posts. It sounds tough for you and it sounds like you're doing a brilliant job. Try not to feel guilty. You are more than enough for your baby (Also do you get PIP? And I wonder if you could get a home start volunteer to help you?)

No need to apologise. The suggestion to use a jumper or playpen is really good so thank you.

That's really kind to say, I think we all try our best dont we but so easy to feel guilty lol. I don't get PIP as I don't feel like I need any financial support, but I may look at that volunteer thing as support from a person may be helpful. Thank you for suggesting x

[quote milkieway]@Paddingtonmum sounds like you're doing brilliantly!

?What about using your bed as another play space - if you sat one side and popped a bed rail on the other with baby in the middle you could have some toys on there together ?

I am a speech therapist and there is absolutely nothing wrong with cuddling up on the sofa and watching a bit of tele together every now and then. My little boy loves watching nursery rhymes. The main thing is it's not on all day (and not on as background noise during the day) and then otherwise you and baby have lots of face to face time to interact chat and sing I think the problem with tv comes if it's on all the time and baby isn't then having much interaction from care giver but certainly doesn't sound like that's the case for you x[/quote]
That is such a good suggestion, I don't know why I've never thought of using the bed to do some proper tummy time with him. Thank you so much, this will make things so much easier for me.

Really good to know that it's not good to have the TV on for background noise as I've done that quite a lot in the past and won't do that now. Thanks so much for your post, soooo helpful!!

You're welcome. FWIW you could use PIP for all sorts, for example for a mother's help to come for an hour or two a week, or for a baby group (and a taxi to get there and back if that would make things easier for you). Could be worth considering although it is a long demanding process to apply.

Also, make sure you’re not falling into the trap of thinking that all the time baby is awake you should be playing, and then you try and get chores done while they’re asleep. Take your starting point the other way around- you do chores while baby is awake and they get to chat to you while you’re doing them, and then when they’re sleeping, you’re ideally resting or doing what you want.

Dunno whether that applies for you OP but it’s definitely a mistake I made with my first and did much better with my second!!