Any tips for getting a 3 year old to listen??

[giraffes2021]

So DD is 3 and a half, also have a 1 year old DS finding it quite testing at the moment!!

Anyway DD just doesn't seem to listen to me! I'll ask her to do something or say for example she makes a mess with toys I'll be like ok it's tidy up time now let's pick some toys up she'll literally just tell me no refuses to do it, if I say ok that's fine no treats today or something she just laughs at me!

I think I just need to take a step back and get some fresh tips as I feel like screaming from the roof tops hahaha just put her brother down for a nap and she's purposely being really noisy now as she knows he's asleep! Little bugger

I've bought a little marble reward jar so I'm hoping this could help? Any other suggestions more than welcome

Oh mine are terrible at listening at the mo. They’re older but I think they all just get through stages of wanting to assert their own power/independence.

I find phrasing sometimes helps. So instead of asking to help tidy up I’ll say something like “let tidy this up and then we can get a drink/play in the garden”.

I’m sure whenever I tell my children not to do something they then immediately do it. So I find telling them what I do want them to do better than telling them what I don’t want them to do (eg what quiet game shall we play reading books or dolls in the garden. Rather than saying we can’t be noisy at the moment ). I never learn my lesson though and always say don’t do x only for them to immediately do it!!!

@Whatinthelord oh I like that what quiet game etc can we play that's a good idea!!

It's so hard isn't it my patience is thin on the ground at the moment hahaha

The quiet game is brilliant, DD is 6 and she's still impressed to be the winner 😂

I also used to bet her that she couldn't do x y z but really good luck, she's gotten gobbier and gobbier 😂

So you want her to tidy up the toys. Have a race- who can tidy up quickest? Challenge her to pick 3 things up and then you do it etc. Dont suggest tidying up, she is tidying up it's just how she does it that she can control not the actual act. If she doesnt tidy dont take treats take the toys.

Do something special when ds asleep, if she wakes him no more special activity.

Use short direct language- no "lets" "shall we" etc. "We are going to....". then give choice of how.

Nothing more annoying than your toddler waking the baby!! I don't really have a solution (will be trying some of the tips above) but my 3 yr old is like this & I have an 11 month old too so I know how you feel. The things I have found that worked are:

• letting her know what to expect rather than asking her to do something immediately (eg “Ryan, in five minutes we will tidy the toys. What would you like to play with last?”)
• asking her to look at me before saying something so her attention is on me. If she does not follow instructions I sometimes say eg “Ryan, I understand you dont want to do x / are upset etc, we have to do x though because if we dont then (insert consequence). So shall we start with x or x?”
• for tidy up we always put a tidy up song on and when its all tidied we have an episode of Bluey (episodes are short). She knows if she doesnt help tidy the whole time the song is on then we wont have the Bluey. Prob not recommended but makes my day so much easier as everything is tidied with no conflict now.