That advice to leave a crying baby while you calm down a bit

[Sunshineaftermorningrain]

Are there alternatives? I’m so wound up this morning. I know I’m adding to the problem. Help!

Hope you’re ok. What age is baby? If old enough fire on some age appropriate tv. If they are v young and you are on edge it is definitely ok to leave them safely and take 5. Can anyone come over to give you a hand / keep you company for a bit?

I think the underlying message is more to make sure you're not at breaking point.
Of course there are alternatives, but it's whatever helps you keep calm whilst ensuring babies safety.
The reason they say that is to reduce the amount of babies being shaken, injured and killed due to stressed out parents.

Do you have any support? X

Sorry you’re having a hard time. It will get better, I promise. It’s fine to park baby in the cot for a bit while you make yourself a cuppa and have a breather. But if you don’t want to, what about a pram walk? That often helped me (and baby) - being outdoors and moving seemed to reset things.

7 months. Missed a nap and is now furious because he’s tired. So frustrating!

Can you try giving him a bath, it always relaxes mine and then he may go to sleep afterwards 😊

Call a friend or family member? When my middle one had colic, when it got too much I would put him down for 5 minutes and get a drink. It usually worked for both of us!

Buggy and walk..

If you have someone you can leave them with, having some regular time for yourself can stop you getting to that point, but if your alone with a baby and close to the edge putting them down somewhere safe is the right thing to do in the moment.

Go make yourself a cup of tea and breath, they won't combust if alone in a cot and you'll be more use to them when your calm.

Absolutely pop him in the cot or playpen and go take a minute so you can calm down a bit. It's awful.

Mine would both benefit from a walk in the buggy in that state - they'd be initially furious and then see something or be calmed by the motion. Try a snack if you're at that stage with solids.

Headphones? Or a walk? Bath?

I used to use calming music, it might have calmed me more than the baby! The "i giorni " album of piano music by Ludovico Einaudi is good if you have Spotify, or there seems to be a lot of his stuff here:

Get outside.

Either take baby for a walk up and down the garden, or strap them in buggy and walk with them.

This too will pass…

I would put him down for 5 minutes and get a drink. It usually worked for both of us!

Bit early for a wee g&t

Deep breaths, it will be ok
Good suggestions from pp to go for a walk with buggy if you can (I would also pop my headphones in for a couple of tunes although not everyone is comfortable doing that) and/or a bath for baby or even for your both together if you can manage it.

Put cross baby in pushchair and go for a fast power walk. If nothing else it may help you calm down. With any luck it will distract him and possibly get him off to sleep.
And yes it is ok to put a baby somewhere safe and take some time out. That's what you mean the ICON message.

@HamsterHelp

I would put him down for 5 minutes and get a drink. It usually worked for both of us!

Bit early for a wee g&t

Its 5'oclock somewhere 😆

Ah thank you. Needed some sanity talking into me! I could feel myself getting worked up.

It’s really hard to leave him to cry as I have a WFH DP so he comes pinging out when he hears ds roaring which adds to my stress levels! Normally I do go out with the pram, that’s a good suggestion, but I’m waiting for an important phone call and I’ve no signal in the village we live in. Argghh! Anyway he’s finally gone down 45 minutes late!

Dancing fruit video on youtube. Worked with mine every time 😅 good luck! I hope he manages to settle for you 💐

Pram and walk here. Putting in cot would just make mine scream more and wind me up.
In pram they are safely strapped in and can choose to look around, sleep or continue screaming but you can just push and semi ignore. I would read the news on phone or get a takeaway drink whilst walking

Actually the music is a great suggestion - thank you. I get so irritable after a bad night and I hate it.

Do you have a sling (or a spare bedsheets at a pinch)?

Sling him on your front in the frog position and go for a walk. Before you get to the end of the street he will be asleep. Unless it is colic, but at least the walk will give you things to concentrate on and being in the upright frog position will give him comfort if it is colic.

(((hugs)))

I would get outside if at all possible, either sling or buggy, whatever works for you. If not, then a bath together can help. Or call a friend and ask for some help. Or offer milk as comfort rather than as food (this works for breastfeeding, I don’t know if it’s right for bottle feeding).

You won’t do any harm just putting him in a cot for 5 minutes, but equally it may make the screaming escalate (did for one of mine, she panicked and it was harder to calm her). So it’s worth trying out other options, if you can.

Handhold - it’s really tough. But you will get through it.

Now that he’s sleeping, make yourself a coffee (or drink of choice) and go sit outside for a few minutes. Even if you just have to sit on the doorstep, the fresh air will help revive you and you’ll feel loads better when he wakes up.

this is such a lovely thread - it's a reminder of how brilliant mumsnet can be.
for you all

@Sunshineaftermorningrain

Actually the music is a great suggestion - thank you. I get so irritable after a bad night and I hate it.

I'm glad it helped. Music is such a personal thing so you probably have your own preferences, but if you want me to PM you my Spotify playlist I use to send little one off to sleep as well I can do. That list is mostly pop/rock but all slow and sleepy. Hope your little one has a good long nap for you now.