Feeling like I'm a boring mum

[Cherryrainbow]

I'm having general feeling like I'm rubbish being amplified by summer hols mum guilt I think. You know what it's like when your mum friends post all these fab days out etc on fb.

I cant help but feel I'm not doing enough or I'm not the fun mum. I always seem to ruin the moment somehow when I do have a good time with the kids. I have a 7yo son who is very hyper and talks all the time and a 10 month old baby girl who is into everything and climbing and stuff atm.

My partner starts a new job soon where he is travelling to England for 6 weeks for training so it's just me and the kids and I can't help but feel the things in my head I want us to do to have fun just won't be and I'm going to make it a boring time for us.

I've had an awful few days lately where everything seems to have gone wrong, I've had to cry a few times feeling overwhelmed.

Does anyone have any ideas or reassuring words please? I'm hoping I'm not the only one who feels some of these things.

I go back to work in September and finish maternity so I think that's weighing on my mind as well.

I'm sorry you are feeling rubbish, sounds like you are generally overwhelmed with those changes coming and it's all combined into a big guilty mess.

I get where you are coming from, but for every smug FB post there are hundreds or thousands of people who don't have picture perfect days. so you are definitely not alone.

get off FB for a while for starters. what you don't see won't hurt.

also you are not rubbish or whatever lies you are telling yourself. you are doing your best. plan 1 or 2 small, achievable things to do - look on Pinterest for ideas.
mine love dancing pretty much any time of the day.
and now that the Olympics is on we watch that a lot!
make some ice lollies with diluted squash, build a blanket fort or an obstacle course.
put lipstick on them and you tooand play a silly kissing game - create your own rules.
ask the older one what they want to do!
there's so much kids can be entertained with at home and if they are bored a bit that's fine too!

whatever you do please don't beat yourself up. it's another tough summer for many. survival mode is ok, so have some duvet days: stay in jimjams, watch tv with them & relax.
you've got this, you can do it.

big hugs x

This would probably be how I would feel if there was social media when my children were young but thankfully Facebook and Instagram didn’t exist so I didn’t have to compare myself to others. I suggest stop looking at it for a start.

Money was tight when my kids were small. In the holidays I would plan one or two paying trips out each week (swimming/cinema/town) and the rest of the time we did free stuff (different play parks, library, friends over, feed the ducks at country park, play in the garden, picnic etc and lots of child-led stuff). As adults now, they have always said they had fun. Just do what your eldest enjoys, even if that is just playing in the garden.

I feel like this sometimes OP.

I have a 4 year old and he is an only child. His dad is ALWAYS at work so it's just me and him every day. I try to do free things such as the park, ducks, shopping ect I also would like to do some paid things but everything (except the local nature centre) is so expensive! I cant afford trips to Lego land, Alton towers ect.

Also, I sometimes get bored of entertaining a 4 year old every day. Some days its brilliant and I really enjoy it but other days I'm bored stiff and would rather be doing some household jobs.

What im trying to say OP, is that it's different for everyone. Whether its lack of money, dont like playing with children, hate going swimming , blah blah blah, most parents will find somthing to feel guilty about when it comes to trying to make the summer holidays fun. Just try to relax and make sure that theres some down time and free play. It will make him really appreciate the times when you do take him somewhere special.

You don't need to be a perfect mum, or a brilliant mum, or a fun, cool or exciting mum. You need to be a good enough mum.

Good enough to give your children the love, security and common sense they will need to grow up securely and to navigate the world.

For some people, exciting activities, or efficiency, or baking, or whatever, come naturally. Lucky them For others it's different. But if your 7yo snuggles up happily in bed and is contented after a day of Lego, then that's as good as them dropping exhausted into bed after a day of mountaineering. Because when they showed you their creation you were interested and engaged.

You don't have to make life fun for your dc. Benign neglect is a good thing, where they learn to create their own fun, secure in the knowledge that mum is there to help if they need.

Don't belittle yourself for struggling with a 10mo - they're hard work!