No sentences

[Colstina]

Hi ,

So I’m stressing myself out that I’ve done or am doing something wrong ,

My toddler was 2 May and can’t say any sentences , can’t say drink when he wants drink , food , sleep , nothing ….. he won’t even pick his drink cup up if he wants one he just sort of cries and tantrums .

Now On the other hand he can do the whole alphabet , numbers to 1-20 , and backwards (11- 20 are a little mumbly) and now can do about 5 colours .

What am I doing wrong in terms of actual speech ? He says momma and daddy , but kind of randomly not always aimed at us , momma usually is .

We have 2 dogs and I must introduce the dogs to him every day and he still never sees them and says dogs or their names.

I know you shouldn’t compare but I see a lot of children a few months younger than him , communicating well .

Please any advise welcome ❤️

Does he say any words for things in his world? To identify them. Like points at a tree and says tree, or car or doggie? If not, I'd make an appointment to see a HCP.

Mine had some speech delay and it was a sign of other issues so it's good to have the assessment.

If you want to compare my first kid could do 0-20 and alphabet before he was 2. My youngest was over 4 . Just because they don't say it doesn't mean they don't know. They soak in the language and are learning. Focus on understanding like 'where's mummy, or the dog'and they might point or look to the right thing.

@MrsTerryPratchett
Hi thanks for your reply , not really he doesn’t say and point to things and identify them at all - not even with the dogs we have ,‘it’s all just numbers , alphabet and colours which he does none stop daily .

Has your HV been in touch for his 2 year check? You can find the check list they send you online.

I'd say HV or doctor. Best to get a check.

I agree with previous posters, I'd be getting in touch with the HV or GP (and then try the other one if the first fobs you off). Not so much because he's not speaking in sentences yet, but because it doesn't sound like he's able to use words to get his needs met (as you say, even at the level of 'drink!') or share what he's seeing/doing with you ('doggie!').

How's his understanding? If you ask him to get his teddy/shoes/whatever, does he get it? If you say it's snack time, does he go to the kitchen?

@skkyelark hi thanks for response , we have left mesage for health visitor today .

In response to your question , nope he woukdnt get anything you ask him , definitely not , like his main thing drink and I try to say get your juice/drink and he won’t .

He is over and over on repetitive things like alphabet/numbers.

I thought he was doing ok , until my mom pointed it out and made me feel like the worst parent In the world.

He doesn’t say things like , hi , hello , morning , nothing , he’s a very very happy child always smiling and having fun I’m just worried something is missing.

There might be something that's neurodiverse but that's not parenting so don't feel like a bad mom!

To be honest I doubt there's a problem. How is he in other areas of development? Does he understand what you ask him to do?

My little boy is now 2.5 years old and is JUST starting to talk in sentences. At age 2 he barely had any words at all - didnt name his big sister, couldn't pronounce most consonants clearly, etc. But his comprehension was great, he could follow two part instructions, counted objects up to 5 (knew his numbers up to 10, I haven't bothered with any more or the alphabet yet), does simple puzzles, had very good fine and gross motor skills (compared to his sister at same age), recognised most common animals and could make the right sounds, knew about 6 colours.

The speaking bit has just taken a long time.
But now it is coming on pretty fast so I'm happy enough.

If your HV isnt worried, I'd leave it 8 months to see how things develop. Focus on repeating nouns, animal sounds, vehicle sounds, etc and very simple sentences with him, make sure you speak really slowly and clearly for him.

You haven't done anything wrong. It sounds like your boy could do with some support - definitely get his hearing checked and also referred for speech therapy. Please don't wait and see - people are well meaning when they say their child didn't speak until they were three or whatever but your worries won't go away until you start being pro active. If your child was sick with a raging temp you wouldn't wait and see - you'd get help immediately.

It won't be anything you've done/not done, please try not to worry about that. I think you also shouldn't feel bad that you weren't worried until your mother pointed it out. With all the covid restrictions, most of us haven't seen our children around many similar aged children, so it's hard to know what the range of normal looks like. You were just enjoying your wee one for his wonderful happy self, and now that you know there may be a problem, you're taking action –that's what counts.

Hopefully the health visitor has got back to you today and been helpful. If they haven't yet, or if you have to explain to someone else, I'd stress that he doesn't seem to understand what you say and that he can't use words (even single words) to tell you what he wants or share things with you (like seeing something exciting). The lack of understanding, in particular, should encourage them to help you now, not just watch and wait.

@Back makes a good point about the hearing test. I think in a lot of places you can self-refer for a hearing test, and it's usually the first thing to rule out, so worth seeing if you can get the ball rolling on that – even if it isn't his hearing, it will save time later if it's already been done.

Same boat as you OP. DS can say lots of things but not joining any words together. He knows when he wants a drink and will bring me his cup but won't say drink or water instead if I say do you want some water or just water he says 'yeah'. If I ask him to get his water or cup he goes and gets it so knows what it is!

@Back is right .
At 17 months I got my first child a referral for speech therapy because I was so worried my son was behind and had a problem l, turns out I had the expectations completely out of proportion and worries about something my 4 year old still couldn't do so great to be reassured but equally never regret being proactive and it was being a good mum to get help and not wait. There's so many good communication pointers on how to do better it's always worth it.

DD2 was referred for a speech therapy assessment after her 2 year check (by which time she was nearly three - so older than your little one OP). The HV wanted to see two words together at that age ‘want drink’ and we didn’t have that. In the end, DD2 has now turned out fine. She has dyslexia, and can sometimes be slow to find the right word when speaking - like adults are sometimes - but has great speech and can chat away well. The advice we were given was just to talk to her constantly about everything you’re doing, everything that’s going on.