Can't leave toddler - please help

[buttercups88]

I'm attending a close friend's wedding soon. It's a very small event (only 40 guests) and no children allowed. I have an 18 month old son who I'm planning to leave with my mum whilst I go to the wedding. I arrive late Friday afternoon for a dinner and will stay overnight. The ceremony is the next day, after which I'll drive home.

I'm really concerned as DS hates being held or touched by anyone except me. He bursts into tears when left alone with a stranger (and to him my mum is a stranger, they've only met a handful of times as she doesn't live close). We live very rurally so he's not had a lot of exposure to other people.

I'm considering pulling out of the wedding, but don't want to upset my friend - especially as it's such an intimate event. On the other hand I'm really worried about the stress this will cause my son and my mum. What would you do?

I personally wouldn’t leave him overnight with someone who is basically a stranger but that’s just me, I’m a bit soft like that! Could you not drive to the wedding in the morning?

To be honest I totally get what you're saying. I think the difference is being born so close to lockdown. My 2nd was two weeks old when we went into lockdown initially. We've been lucky as once restrictions allowed we were able to bubble with close family who live close by. That's made all the difference to him as he was able to get to know them. Before that he knew no one other than his mother father and sister. He actually knew no one. He would cry when I put him down in my parents house. Cry if they so much as looked at him let alone tried to interact with him.

I know that people say he'll get used to it and be fine but I do understand your worry. If it's feasible I think I'd maybe go for the day only and not miss bedtimes if I could.

Really difficult situation and ultimately only you can decide what the best thing is to do. Some people feel comfortable leaving their very young babies, others don't want to leave them at all overnight so it's each to their own.

However, I just wanted to validate your concerns as unless you've had a baby just before or during lockdown I think it's difficult to compare and understand really.