Your experience with the CIO method

[DA1987]

Has anyone successfully used the CIO method to help their baby fall asleep by themselves and sleep through? At what age did you do it and how long did it take be effective?

We’re looking into sleep training options to figure out what is right for us, and there is obviously a lot of negative press around CIO. However we figured it must work for so many people to do it. TIA

RIP this thread… good luck!

Yes, but I've learned never to comment about it on Mumsnet ... it worked very quickly for my DS (who is 20 now) with no obvious side effects.

You will need a very thick skin to try and discuss it on here .

You're very brave bringing this to Mumsnet. I posted a similar post 3 years ago when my little one was waking every hour and I was desperate and I got a lot of judgement and aggression from people who said various things including that it's cruel / child abuse etc.

At 11 months old my LO was waking every hour. I am a paramedic and have been to a few cosleeping accidents so I was always against cosleeping even though many people do it and don't have accidents I was never going to put myself in a position to allow an accident to happen after what I've seen in my job. We tried everything. Patting, shushing, rocking, pick up put down, gradual leaving, lying next to. Then one night she screamed from 11pm until 1am and I had had enough. I left her cry for two minutes, then went back in and lay her down and said "sleepytime". I left her cry (wasn't really crying, just fussy moaning) for another 4 minutes then went back in and said "sleepytime", then I was going to go back after 8 minutes but within 2 minutes she'd gone to sleep.
The next night we did the same and it took 5 minutes for her to sleep, the next night it was straight away. It took 2 days and nights (we did it for naps too) and she was going to sleep straight away and sleeping through the night. It revolutionised sleep for everyone. She was noticeably more rested, as were we and overall it was less crying than the more "gentle" methods. Google Jo Frost's "controlled timed crying (CTC)" where you go in at 2, 4, 8 minutes.

We tried at about 7 months... There was a LOT of crying and it never worked

She still sleeps terribly (nearly 1 now) bit I'm too scared to try again. She stands up in her cot now so would just stand and shout, plus I hated it, plus she's just started nursery so I don't want to do anything else to unsettle her.

I'm not saying it's "bad", but sadly it didn't work for us.

Worked brilliantly I only wished I tried it sooner!

CIO is meant for babies over 12-18 months old. I have started using it for my 18 month old but he has night terrors and we got scared and got into the habit of waking him up to calm him down when we should have let him sleep. So now he’s waking at 3am lol.

OP do you mean cry it out or controlled crying?

I must confess I'm never quite clear on the difference but I think in mumsnet language cry it out is simply leaving the child to cry until they fall asleep. And controlled crying is leaving them to cry for short intervals before going in, reassuring and then leaving again

Cry it out gets terrible press but controlled crying tends to get a slightly warmer response

We did controlled crying combined with gradual retreat at 6 months and would do it again in a heartbeat. Very little crying and DS slept through on night 3

Maybe worth asking MNHQ to edit your title if you mean controlled crying

Thanks everyone for your responses.

Yes, I suppose I do mean controlled crying rather than just putting the baby down for the night, shutting the door and waiting until morning. I’ll see about changing the title now. Thanks @MyFartWillGoOn

We tried controlled crying in desperation at about 9 months and gave up after 90 minutes of hysterical screaming. It then took about an hour to calm DS down enough he'd sleep, so even if we'd persisted I can't see him having fallen asleep by himself. We had success with gradual tweaks to bedtime routine instead.

I think it's worth identifying what level of crying you'd be happy with before you start, and being ready to quit if it goes on too long. Very long crying is when the question of how cruel it is really starts to feel it matters.

We did controlled crying at 18 months. First night took about an hour and a half, second night 5 minutes or so, fine after that... until recently, over a year later and now she can get out her bed and room i have no idea how to deal with it...

We did controlled crying from quite young when we moved her into her own room about 3/4 months. We would put her down and always leave, let her try to settles and whinge a bit, then would go in before the cries went from whinging to upset, resttle and repeat. Took about 3 days and she self settled pretty consistently since then. She has always loved her bed and room, and will happily lie in bed playing or chatting until she falls asleep

We did Ferber (I think the same as CC? going in at increasing intervals) at 7 months. Took 2-3 nights, DD's sleep has been bombproof since and she's nearly four.

We did CC at 1yo then gradual retreat at 2.5 and I'm still called in for a cuddle 3-4 nights a week at nearly 4. I think he's broken 🤣

I tried once for ten minutes and it was so utterly unbearable to listen to him cry without comforting him that we never did it again. I know it works for some people but we truly couldn’t stand it.

I’ve had some success with the Lucy Wolfe ‘stay and soothe’ method. He’s sleeping much better now and it never involves leaving them to cry.

I did controlled crying aka the Ferber method when DS was 5 months old. It literally took us ONE day but don’t get too hopeful, I think that’s a rarity 😂 It was a game changer and we are both much happier for it. But people on MN still decided I was cruel, abusive and lazy :) so I hope you’ve got thick skin! I had to just laugh it off.
Definitely read more about the Ferber method, it will give examples of the ‘intervals’ and you can decide what you feel comfortable with, e.g, picking them up, not picking them up, patting/shushing, staying in the room, leaving the room. There’s a lot of different ways to interpret sleep training as it depends on what you think is best for you and your baby.
Oh and as other people have said, CIO literally means just leaving them to cry so I think you’d probably prefer controlled crying.