breast feeding

[kay06072021]

I feel like giving up:( this is a long post but please bare with me!

my little boy is almost 4 weeks old, and we’ve been combi feeding him, as I was really poorly we decided this was best so my partner could help with night feeds and I could rest.

breast feeding was going well at first and and I felt like i’d started to get the hang of it, my milk came in and i was also pumping and getting quite a lot. He does have a small tongue tie which didn’t seem to cause any issues, and we had seen 2 midwives who watched me feed and offered advice.

then he got poorly, and while we were in the hospital it was practically impossible to get him to breast feed and i was incredibly anxious that he wasn’t getting anything when he would latch, so he ended up having a few more bottles than normal. (usually he only has them throughout the night so my partner can do the night shift while i get some rest)

i continued to pump to keep my supply up. when we got home there was a lot of nipple confusion so i ordered some nipple shields as they are shaped like a bottle. this really helped and a few days later i just decided to try without the shield and he managed to latch.

a few days ago i was quite poorly and had a high temperature, i fell asleep around 6pm and my partner left me to sleep until i woke up around 7am the next morning, feeling better but my boobs obviously hurt and were very full. I missed about 4/5 feeds/opportunities to pump so i’m a bit worried about my supply. but when i tried to feed him i was unable to latch him on and it was even a struggle with the shields. He’s now doing fine with the shields but i can’t get him to latch without them, any tips or advice would be great.

I have also noticed that he never seems satisfied after breast feeding, even after nearly an hour on each boob. he falls asleep sometimes but as soon as i put him down so i can eat or shower he starts crying again and only calms when i put him back on. he just always seems hungry but if i give him a bottle he drinks it and settles for a few hours afterwards every time. Am i doing something wrong? I know breast milk is easier to digest so they get hungry quicker and they cluster feed, but after almost an hour on each boob, he can sometimes be crying for more as little as 5 minutes later. please give me any advice you can:(

When you say your baby was poorly and admitted to hospital - was this due to feeding problems? Was he diagnosed with jaundice or ‘failure to thrive?’

How’s his weight gain now? Plenty of wet and dirty nappies?

kellymom.com/ages/newborn/nb-challenges/wean-shield/ - great advice half way down about weaning from the shields. Might be worth getting a review with a lactation consultant to optimise everything before you do. My SIL had to wean her 2 from nipple shields. One was a piece of cake and one took +++ perseverance, so you might be in for a bit of work.

Re: your last paragraph. It’s completely normal for babies to want to be near the boob and cry on being put down. I’m sure you’ve read about the 4th trimester. They may be hungry, they may just want reassurance and comfort. The only slight confounding factor is the fact your said DS has a tongue tie. This can make feeding, especially breastfeeding inefficient and hence take hours. It may also explain the reliance on the nipple shields (although, as you eluded to, this is probably more likely to be bottle preference). Has the tie been assessed by someone who specialises in them? Do you have any nipple pain?

@AliceW89 thank you for responding!
his hospital trip was not related to feeding, they suspected he might have meningitis. he did have jaundice in the first few days but that had subsided by the time he was admitted. His did loose some weight in the first few days like normal but is gaining it well. he is producing lots of wet nappies and usually poops once or twice a day.

two people have assessed his tongue tie and said it’s minor and shouldn’t interfere with feeding, but I really think it is.

it does hurt sometimes when i feed, which i know means the latch is wrong and sometimes a lot of milk dribbles out of his mouth. I feel like his latch isn’t right but i’ve asked every midwife or doctor or health visitor ive seen since he’s been born to watch me feed and they all say it’s fine, but i feel like it’s not:(

As pp said, your last paragraph does sound normal for a 4 week old. It can feel utterly nonstop in the early weeks and is different to bottles. Re the tongue tie, it was incredibly painful to feed my third baby and the breastfeeding clinic identified what they also called minor tongue tie. But I had it snipped as it seemed the best option for improving things and it did help. The NHS process can be quite drawn out so if it is an option for you there are lots of private practitioners. You can find one here www.tongue-tie.org.uk/find-a-practitioner/ Re the nipple shields, I wouldn’t worry too much about them at this early point if they are working for you. My eldest was very tricky to get feeding and nipple shields are what got us there. I can’t remember how long we used them for but it was a few weeks at least and I then tried her every so often without them before she could feed without them. If you need further support then have a look for any breastfeeding cafes in your area, they are free to attend and have lactation specialists there. Or private lactation consultants are available as well if that’s an option for you.