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My 9 wo dd cries always except when feeding, sleeping, being held or has a pacifier in her mouth

10 replies

Sunshine011020 · 26/07/2021 14:52

Hi lovely ladies,
I'm a little confused as to whether newborns are meant to be this way and until what age? My dd came at week 37 + 3 and is healthy otherwise. I'm combination feeding her but exclusively breast milk. More from the bottle. She sleeps off quicker when I breast feed her.

I feel like she's always crying when I try to put her down in a cot or bassinet. When she's not feeding or sleeping she wants me to hold her. When I do pick her up she stops crying as if nothing was the matter. My husband (I was super reluctant) introduced the pacifier to her and that has massively helped for us to have some time to ourselves. But I'm concerned she'll get used to it and will never learn to self soothe or have a good time on her own just watching and interacting with her surroundings. Its a struggle to even to use the toilet sometimes, because I cant leave her alone.
There are very very limited times when she's been fed well and is still active when she will interact and shout at the mobiles and animal stickers on the wall for some time (honestly that's the happiest time for me and I Iove watching her being a happy baby on her own) but it lasts hardly for 15 minutes and when she gets bored she starts crying again.
I've seen videos where moms play with their new-borns on the bed and give them exercise time and carry out sensory play time. I feel like these things are not possible because dd's always crying when she's put down somewhere.

She has started smiling socially now and loves to interact but only while being held. :-I

Is this normal? Will she ever get out of this crying phase and be happy on her own as she grows up? Is there anything I'm doing wrong or can do to help?

Any similar experience will be really helpful.

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NameChange30 · 26/07/2021 14:54

It could be silent reflux. My two both had reflux and hated lying down when it was bothering them. Do you have a bouncer chair? If not get one, mine were happy to be put down in that so I could at least go to the toilet or have a quick shower!

Reflux can be caused by CMPA or just be one of those things. It's worth talking to HV and/or GP if you think it could be that.

zoeydollie · 26/07/2021 14:58

Sounds pretty normal, most little babies don't like being put down and will complain after a few minutes.

Dummies are also fine and normal. Aim to reduce to bedtime only from 6 months and get rid by a year old.

Can you put her in a bouncer with a dummy when you go to the toilet?

PerfectPrepPrincess · 26/07/2021 14:59

Fourth trimester, Google it xxx
15 mins is a long time for concentration, I'd say normal for the age.
Mine is the same, she's three months now so trying to get her off me and back into s cot/basket.

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GoldenOmber · 26/07/2021 14:59

You’re not doing anything wrong, some babies just really really want to held. It can feel totally suffocating though especially when everyone else’s baby seems happy to gurgle away on a playmat! I had one like that - grew out of it around crawling age, and now is a totally independent child.

Don’t worry about what other people are doing with sensory play etc. Your baby is getting all she needs to know about the world from looking at it while you hold her.

bloodywhitecat · 26/07/2021 15:00

She sounds just like my little fosterling who is a very similar age, she is only happy when being held, asleep or feeding. I have a couple of windows where she may just lay on her mat and kick at the baby gym but otherwise she is either in my arms or in the sling. I always think this period of adjustment from being held tightly in the womb to learning about the world is normal. Have you read about the fourth trimester?

21Bee · 26/07/2021 15:09

I exclusively expressed for my daughter and found that a dummy would help her settle. She’d cry for hours with bad reflux otherwise. Breastfed babies suck for comfort too but with my daughter that wasn’t an option, the dummy was the next best thing.

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 26/07/2021 15:13

All sounds really normal to me (mum of 9 - youngest 8months). Cary on as you are! X

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 26/07/2021 15:13

*Carry

LaMadrilena · 26/07/2021 15:14

Mine's 8w and exactly the same, I've started a couple of threads on it and everyone has said what PPs have said here - completely normal! I'm hoping she gets a bit more independent when the fourth trimester is over!

Sunshine011020 · 27/07/2021 00:11

Thank you ever so much all of you fantastic mommas! I feel reassured it's all normal and won't stress over it anymore (so many other things to stress over anyway). 😬 Googled 4th trimester and it seems very much that. I guess I'd rather concentrate on enjoying these intimate moments with dd as they say the munchkins grow up so quick. Thanks again and happy parenting you all. Appreciate the support and words of encouragement. 🤗🤗

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