Climbing up and down the stairs

[HettieBee]

My partner's son is 20 months old and my partner is very nervous about him going up and down stairs. He'll make him climb up on all fours and coming down, he will make him sit on the stairs and bum shuffle down each stair.

He's always eager to walk up and down bipedal and tries to resist this instruction, holding onto someone's hand or the rail. I've been wanting to encourage this - both for his confidence and his motor skills and coordination. Yet my partner insists that he go up and down the way he's shown her because, he argues, if he falls and there's no one with her then he'll fall in a way that does the least damage.

I think it's a little over the top as we have a safety gate in the hall way and at the top of the stairs so he can't access the stairs without assistance anyway.

Do you agree with him, or am I right to be frustrated? He's not my biological son so I don't feel I can contest it, but I would like to know if this is bad for development.

I think it really does depend on the style of stairs, their depth and what there is to hang onto.

We live in a tall thin house, with long landings and shallow stairs. DD(14) learned to tackle stairs BEFORE she could walk BUT the uprights on our landing would look very similar to cot bars to a baby. She would walk up and down, sideways, holding onto the uprights. She didn't attempt solo walking until about 15 months, but happily navigated the house holding onto furniture/stairs on her feet for months before.

If you have steep stairs, leave them alone for a bit and focus on getting DC used to pulling themselves up to stand and feeling confident on their feet.

Focus on making sure the child is happy and try to help them discover new skills with plenty of praise, but back off if they clearly aren't ready.

Madcats, OP’s stepchild is 20 months old! They will have been walking confidently for ages, not needing encouragement in “pulling themselves up”!
OP, I would definitely encourage the child to walk up and down stairs normally, holding your hand or the banister. At 20 months they are certainly ready for this, assuming no developmental delay or special needs issues.

Encouraging them to walk up/down the stairs safely is the right thing to do.
It can be worrying when they are becoming more independent but they have to do it at some point.

Walk behind them when he goes up. Walk in front of him when he comes down. Be the barricade that will catch him if he falls.
Hold hands. Keep the gates locked when you aren't there. How will he learn if he's never allowed to do it. Determination goes a long way in building skills. Celebrate this and support it.