Mum with panic disorder and pandemic baby

[Lolarosemama]

Hey,

I guess I’m posting to see if anyone else is going through the same as me. My ds is 9 months old, so born right before November lockdown, and I have panic disorder.

Before the pandemic I was doing really well with it and barely had any panic attacks, but now after a year and a half of life as it has been, I find being around lots of people really overwhelming. I’m also used to my husband being home pretty much all the time as he’s worked from home for the entirety of my son’s life.

All of this combined has meant that I’ve only left the house alone with ds a few times and barely ever been in the house alone with him for more than a couple of hours. But now I’m used to that, with panic disorder, I have built up this fear of having days on my own with him, or doing stuff outside the house alone with him.

Has anyone else felt similar, especially if you’ve had a pandemic baby? How have you handled it? I know deep down I just need to take baby steps and do small things with him but I just feel so alone in it, and so ashamed that this is what I’ve been like as a mum.

Honestly, I just felt so bad my little girl was missing out that I just forced myself to go to baby classes and then met up those new mum friends for playdates.
Kinda made it easier when I saw how happy she was around the other babies and after a few times I didnt really worry anymore.
Now, it doesnt bother me anymore.. so it does get better. And of course, you can speak to someone or get meds to take the edge off if your really struggling.

I'm not sure what it is that scares you? Whether it's the baby kicking odd in public related side of things or whether your scared of covid or just it being busy x

My baby is 9 weeks old and I don't suffer from panic disorder but I have had anxiety previously. My partner went back to work when our son was 4 weeks old. I found it really tough at first because he's so calm and relaxed about everything I'm the worrier. I kept inviting people round so I wasn't on my own all day with him I think he was about 7 weeks when everyone was busy and I finally had to do a day by myself. I just didn't make any plans just took the day as it came tried not to set myself up for a fall, like I might get to that washing up I might not, I might get a chance to get dressed I might not in the grand scheme of things they aren't important.

As for going out alone with baby I'm still taking small steps we go out for a short walk if the weather is nice or walk to my mums who lives round the corner. We haven't ventured in to town or anything yet but I'm not pressuring myself just doing what feels comfortable and hoping in time we'll get further and more confident

I think you just have to take small steps and stick to what you're comfortable with

Thanks both. It’s not covid side of things - hard to explain to you if you don’t have panic disorder, it’s very irrational and comes out of the blue very often. I’ve got a plan in place to do small walks with him this week and that’s feeling manageable at the moment which I’m pleased about.

Anyone else?

@Lolarosemama hey hun! Pandemic baby mum here and panic disorder suffer as well, I've had cbt that have helped tbh you can self refer as you've had a baby recently you'll be put to the top of the list, it does get better I'm able to leave the house a lot more now weres at the beginning of the year I couldn't even walk up my road or take my son to school without panicking, I'm here if you need a chat you can message me or reply on here 🤗🤗congrats on your bundle xx

Sufferer *

Hi hun, sending a big hug. I found out I was pregnant just before 1st lockdown and had my daughter in September just before 2nd lockdown. I got diagnosed with postnatal anxiety because I was having panic attacks, I felt like I was drowning in overwhelming darkness sometimes, and I was scared to go out and do anything like take my oldest child to school - luckily the school were supportive and fabulous and I had parents to help me out with that.

Some things that may help:

Start off small, go for a walk with the baby even if its just around the garden, then next time end of the street, next time around the block etc. Sit on the bench at the park and enjoy a drink. Honestly getting outside and being off the phone is a great mind clearance. Before you know it you'll be chatting to other parents at the park.

Try and find a baby and parent group nearby, most classes don't last long and you're distanced and parents are respectful as well if you want to chat or keep to yourself. Even if u make it to one class and don't go again it will give u the boost for future because you can say to yourself hey I did manage it that time :) it will encourage you to try again when you're ready.

Write a list of things you want to do with the baby but are anxious about and try and tackle the list one item at a time. You might complete a task within the hour, it might take a week, longer, the thing is not to pressure yourself to focus on too many things. Complete one thing before you think about moving on to the next.

Try and think of the day as 1 hour blocks or shorter rather than a whole because I found that overwhelmed me and I'd be on edge waiting for my partner to come home like watching out the window, pacing, praying for his return. Instead I was like well for this hour I'm going to have a cup of tea and watch cbeebies. Less pressure, and time goes quicker. Before I knew it I'd be like well I've managed 5 hours, what's another hour!

I've found a podcast on YouTube and Facebook called "the anxiety guy" and it has been an amazing tool for me. From picking guided meditations and self affirmations to conversations discussing things like anxiety symptoms, dos and don'ts, ways to challenge our thinking, anxiety related to different scenarios its been amazing. A lot of his stuff focuses on health anxiety but it's great for other forms of anxieties too.