OH and I are a bit stressed about the summer holidays. For the past few months Mum has been very difficult about his son coming for holidays, changing dates, chopping dates off etc. Technically OH should go back to court but we are worn out with the pandemic and wary of putting SS through court. Mum is now working full time so we have tried to be flexible (although difficult when things are just dictated). Mum refuses to agree anything and says 13 year old is old enough to decide for himself. But we know he doesn't have any say in the arrangements.
To cut to the chase, SS is supposed to be here for a one week and two week defined period over the summer holidays. Mum said she had her holidays booked over OH's single week. So we booked a holiday over our two week period and wrote to Mum asking for SS to come the first week in lieu of OH week she is taking, and informed her OH would need to pick SS up on x date for our booked holiday (which is within defined court ordered dates).
Mum refuses to agree anything and says "discuss your dates with SS". This puts SS in a very awkward position as he doesn't like having to dictate to us or keep rejecting us - and he also wants to be here.
So OH wrote a firm email stating that Mum needed to keep to her obligations under the court order and asked her to confirm SS would be available on those dates. She knows we could apply for a specific issues order because we have the holiday booked.
She ignored the email. Then SS then arrived with the dates on his phone calendar and said he'd been asked to discuss dates with us. The dates he gave were the ones OH had stated in his email.
SS has been here for the first week and we're supposed to pick him up next week for the holiday - but something is going on and he seems uncomfortable and vague.
So again - to get to the point - we are fairly sure that Mum wants SS to be there to childmind his younger brother who is 8 (her child with her H) as they are both working full time. Which is why she is keeping SS there more during school holidays. She has said the dates her leave is booked (which is when they are going on holiday).
While I realise childminding in holidays is difficult and expensive, is it really acceptable for a 13 year old to child mind an 8 year old all day every day midweek? Apart from the fact it means SS isnt here with us! SS is home alone after school in term time until Mum and her H get back from work, which we think is ok at his age for a couple of hours but are guessing he is also childminding his younger sibling then as well.
It is now too late to apply for a specific issues order for the holiday but we think we will just be told at the last minute that SS doesn't want to come. Mum is pretty hostile towards us at the best of times and I feel so sorry for SS being in the middle. We have bent over backwards to be flexible during the pandemic and because Mum is working, and accepted all sorts of unilateral changes, but Mum is basically just not allowing SS to be here for more than a few days at a time.
The first week of the summer we know younger sibling was booked into a school summer school club. But that has finished now.
Sorry to waffle so much. So two things. 1) Is it ok for a 13 year old to childmind an 8 year old all week? We don't think so. 2) We're very anxious not knowing if SS will come or not next week.