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Original poster

Night time with 2 week old

34 replies

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 19:44

Baby sleeps beautifully throughout the day, feeding roughly everything 3 hours but sometimes I do wake him up to feed as he is not yet at his birthweight.

He wakes for a feed at around 11pm and will not go back down. He is constantly at the breast until around 5am when I finally get him back to sleep.

At first I had it down to cluster feeding but it's been like this since day one now and I'm really concerned about the fact he's awake for 6 hours straight. By 5am the poor thing is really, really tired.

I feed him and let him fall asleep on me but he always wakes back up a few mins after I put him down and it's rinse and repeat.

Has anyone got any advice? I'm getting absolutely shattered.. a couple of hours sleep in the night would be so welcome.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

BertieBotts · 24/07/2021 19:50

Look up the safe co-sleeping guidelines and put him into bed with you.

It's not ideal, but it's better than you getting no sleep.

Or do you have a partner you can take shifts with?

DarkestBeforeDawn · 24/07/2021 19:51

I co slept with my last DC, total game changer for getting some rest but agree with PP, essential to do it following safety guidance.

bloodywhitecat · 24/07/2021 19:51

Have you tried swaddling him?

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Pissinthepottyplease · 24/07/2021 19:52

Sounds normal. Get him in the sunlight first thing in the day, it can just be in the Moses basket in front of the window. Wakes up to feed more regularly in the day. Try cosleeping and feeding laying down. If it’s your only child then sleep when the baby sleeps.

It gets better.

Lazypuppy · 24/07/2021 19:53

Have you tried a dummy for when he is just sucking and not feeding? If you are happy that breastfeeding is established well, we introduced at 2 weeks for the same reason at night time

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 19:53

I'm not co sleeping.

Swaddling is difficult because he naturally sleeps on his side - I always place him on his back but he rolls onto his right so I've been wary.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 19:56

@Lazypuppy yes he has a dummy which he sucks FURIOUSLY during this time of night. The rest of the time he doesn't do this.

Good tip re sunlight @Pissinthepottyplease

OP posts:

Chocolatebuttercream · 24/07/2021 20:00

I came on to say co sleep, too. I see you don't want to - it's entirely your choice- but it can actually be very safe, the NHS recommends it in some areas now. Let us know if you want more info as it really is a life saver for these sorts of times.

mutedrainbows · 24/07/2021 20:01

Most babies at this age don't like to be put down. You can try warming the cot with a hot water bottle beforehand, sleeping with a sheet before putting it down so it smells like you...but tbh the only way I coped was bedsharing as cluster feeding can be pretty relentless at this age.

Or like a pp said, can your partner sleep while you're feeding and then hold him while you get a few hours in?

Lazypuppy · 24/07/2021 20:02

OP have you tried qhite noise or lullaby music etc? My daughter used to have a music box playing at that age, and then used to play lullaby's off our spotify account to distract her while she was trying to settle

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 20:05

I can't co sleep due to a very soft mattress - just wouldn't be safe.

I've tried white noise - it does help settle him just not get him off to sleep properly.

I wondered re putting him down but I have no issues during the day... he's sleeping in his Moses basket day and night.

OP posts:

FTEngineerM · 24/07/2021 20:08

It’s hard because you’re fighting against their instincts that have been the reason we’ve survived as a species for thousands of years.

Primate babies don’t get left anywhere, ever. You can’t communicate that it’s fine, you’re in a cot next to mam and no lion is going to come and eat you.

So many do co-sleep, it is what we would have done then to keep going otherwise it’ll end in burnout and you and your mental health are important too. There are safe ways of doing it, please be kind to yourself I remember those days vividly and am about to go through them again in 7 weeks or so.

You’ll be amazed at what your instincts will do if you do decide to cosleep. As a PP suggested have a look to see what safe looks like and then have another think.

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 20:09

His dad works nights which doesn't help but when he is here it's hard as boob is the only thing that settles him.

I've started trying to express so he can give me a hand during the day a bit more.

Doomed aren't I

OP posts:

Chocolatebuttercream · 24/07/2021 20:11

@Sackofnickles

I can't co sleep due to a very soft mattress - just wouldn't be safe.

I've tried white noise - it does help settle him just not get him off to sleep properly.

I wondered re putting him down but I have no issues during the day... he's sleeping in his Moses basket day and night.

Babies are programmed to be clingy at night as this is when they are in theory more at risk from predators! That's why tjei often seem to go down fine in the day but not at night. That plus your prolactin is higher at night so that's when they want to feed lots. Basically everything about babies is designed to stop you getting a proper sleep

I bought a firm mattress from IKEA, it was cjeap and worked well.

FTEngineerM · 24/07/2021 20:11

Just seen your update about mattress ☹️

To be fair the boob is the only thing to settle most bf’d babies

ladygindiva · 24/07/2021 20:11

No advice but my first dc was like this, fed all night, slept all day then suddenly at about 6 weeks started sleeping really well at night. Hang in there, and sleep when you can when baby does in the day etc. It's just a phase.

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 20:11

I'm not anti co sleeping - just in our circumstances right now it would not be safe.

OP posts:

Flittingaboutagain · 24/07/2021 20:12

Have you read up on the fourth trimester? It's completely normal newborn behaviour. Mine hates being put down so partner and I are taking it in turns staying up and settling her. It is normal to have to wait until they are deeply asleep, already swaddled then continue patting and shushing for a good 30 minutes after the transfer to the next to me here! And if we dare stop cycle starts again!

They sleep just fine alone in the day but need us at night.

PinkPlantCase · 24/07/2021 20:13

I would really avoid giving a dummy if he’s not at birthweight yet. When he wants to suck let him eat.

Agree it sounds normal though, co-sleeping really would help you get through it, you might find he goes to sleep if he’s next to you.

ladygindiva · 24/07/2021 20:13

Tbh I'd sit up and watch boxsets and bf all night and sleep in the day if that's what is happening. Go with the flow. I feel your pain.

Chocolatebuttercream · 24/07/2021 20:15

Fair enough OP. I wish you lots of luck, the only thing you can do is maximise sleep when it is possible - so sleep when baby sleeps if she will go down in the day (mine never did), go to bed as soon as your DP gets up so he can have baby whilst getting.ready for his night shift, he may also need to get up earlier than he is used to (he is likely to resist this, my DH does nights so I feel your pain!). It won't last forever.

GrrrlPwr · 24/07/2021 20:16

If he is sucking on a dummy but not asleep he could be hungry. Try feeding in a safe way (you will be exhausted by then).

Sleep in the day to catch up.

Chocolatebuttercream · 24/07/2021 20:18

Sorry I mean he. My LO is a girl so I tend to imagine all current babies as female

HalloHello · 24/07/2021 20:27

Could you get one of the next to me cots? Means you can safely cosleep if your bed isn't suitable.

However it sounds so so normal. Your baby is tiny, still trying to feed to thrive and just wants you. My daughter was the same, it doesn't last forever. Keep going with white noise, and breastfeeding. Mine always slept on her side too. Do you use a newborn sleeping bag? You can get one from tommee tippee that you can have their arms swaddled or out, they make it so easy to settle baby and no disturb trying to tuck them in. Read up on 4th trimester, sleep in the day (I remember sleeping in until 11am, and then having a nap after 3pm feed while my newborn slept!)

Original poster

Sackofnickles · 24/07/2021 20:59

I only use the dummy during nappy changes/getting him in the car (the shouty stuff!) and then to buy me 10mins to have a wee/get coffee/attempt to put him down once he's asleep on me in the night. Although not at BE he is gaining weight and I'm okay with how much it's used.

I have a next to me crib but he won't sleep in it!!

I'm just going to have to get better at sleeping in the day.

OP posts:

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