housework who does it in your household? my mum and dad seem to think its all down to the woman

[pregnantbabyelephant]

keep slagging my sister off saying her poor dh has to come home and cook the tea
she has 2 kids and a baby

they seem to think shes lazy and not doing her wifes duties

goodness knows what they say about me i only have one baby and dh cert does his share

how can i get them to lay off my sis?
ive tried tell them that things are more equal these days but our sil reckons she does everything much to mum and dads approval
kind of discrediting us saying thats not the way of the world now

how can i get them to understand ? or do you all do all the chores and we are wrong?

Just tell them you and your sister are too knackered from all the sex you have.

They'll never bring it up again, I promise.

I did mean with your respective partners btw...!

lol ill tell my sister that on fri

My Mum and Step-Dad are like this, she is always moaning that he cannot even make a cup of tea himself. They honestly believe that men are superior to women and that women should be servants to them. My Mum was horrified when I told her I was earning more than DP at one time and Step-Dad is so sexist he says DP is under the thumb if he does a nappy.

He will ask DP a question say about the pc, DP doesn't have a clue so asks me, I tell Step-Dad the answer then he goes "whats that DP?" and talks over me.

DP does half of the housework when he is here he does get a meal on the table every night and thanks me for it every night, if it weren't there he certainly wouldn't say anything.

My Mum says a woman is not a real woman until she has a son (wtf?) and that only she and one cousin have hit the jackpot of one girl one boy. On finding out DD2 was a DD she said nevermind you can have another

sweetkitty do you think they could/will ever change

sweet kitty thats terrible what your mum said to you about hearing dd was a girl, was this when your where pg or just after giving birth?

you know your computer incident? well i had a similar one, at a family funeral i was driving me and my brother back to the house for the wake and dad was driving the rest of the family
dad really pissed me off discussing with my brother which way we where gonna drive there you know which road route shall we go on
then started telling my brother oh no we should go on such a such road

when im the one fucking driving !!!

my dh leaves the house at 6am every day and returns at 8pm. I think it would be a cheek if I asked him to do housework/cook the dinner etc.

BUT if your spouse comes home at, say, 4.30pm, which my friend's dp does, then of course it is only right that they should pitch in.

I know a woman who is a SAHM, but she pulls that old one of "I'm a mother, not a housewife" and does NOTHING for her dh. She won't even cook his dinner, he has to get his own separately. And he has to do all the shopping, ironing, and and run the house at the weekend. (And he's not allowed in the bathroom, he can only use the shower room next to the garage.) I don't think that's being equal, it's just being lazy and inconsiderate.

You and your sister know that your Mum and Dad are wrong and have each other to have a moan to, so it is not too bad. And the fact that your SIL is struggling to keep up to it all shows you are right.

I do more of the housework than DH because I work 3 days and he works 5. On my two days off I only have DD with me because DS is at school, and she is 3 1/2 so I can get things done. But DH is still expected to clear up after we have eaten, do some of the downstairs cleaning (I clean upstairs while DD is at home because hard to do when the children are in bed!), some of the ironing, sort out the washing etc. And he does it.

I agree with fircone. I think even then I would expect a DH to be considerate - dirty cups in the kitchen, dirty pants in the basket, that kind of thing. Anyway DH will not be coming home at all tonight so it will be up to me. But I did leave for work before the DC got up so he had to get them ready, breakfasted and dropped off.

PBE - no I have come to accept they will never change now, part of it is their upbringing I am sure,in my Mums family my GP was the boss and worked all week came in gave GM they pay and went back out and got pissed all weekend, GM thought this was acceptable as he had worked all week, my Mum thinks the same thing, if your DH gives you money he's a good DH and you should put up with anything. She once told me that the occasional slap from your DH was acceptable

bloody hell sweet kitty
is it a sort of stepford wife thing with out parents ?

wonder if they have any views about that women should do in the bedroom !!
prob think its a mans right to have sex with his wife whenever he wants

i think you should tell your parents how lovely it is that her husband wants to come home and do something nice for his wife

rather than she forces pots & pans into his hands and barks " COOK BIATCH"

in general this changes witht he diferent things we have in life

at the moment i am expected to do everything becuase dh works 12 hurs a day - to say i am a little pissed off is an understatement and very little gets done.

i quit.

I must be a real disappointment to her having gone to uni, had a career, made more money than my DP, had 2 lowly girls but I suppose I have rectified it now being a SAHM. Step-dad likes to call me a housewife, to which I replied I am not a housewife I am a microbiologist on a career break thank you. She always said "SK will never make me a Gran she's a too selfish career woman, X (my brother) will make me a Gran first) she has chocked on those words a few times.

Wel your parents are clearly stuck in a different age, and actually it's nothing to do with them how you run your home...so take no notice.

We share the housework equally.

Both have f/t woh, so anything else wouldn't be practical.

If one of us was a sahp they would inevitable do more jobs within the home, but parenting doesn't stop at 5pm, so no reason why work beyond those hours shouldn't be shared, imo.