When did having 2 kids get easier for you?

[Londonlady92]

DS is almost 7 and he is an angel, DD is almost 3 and not so much an angel atm. I know its a crap toddler phase but I'm finding it hard.

Those with 2 kids (or more) what age was your youngest when you felt it genuinely get easier? Feel like I need a goal to look forward to.

Is it having two that’s hard or just having a toddler? I had a much smaller age gap (two under two) so on a practical level I found having two started getting easier after the first 12-18 months once my oldest was no longer effectively a baby as well. For me it’s got steadily easier since then although they’re still only 4.5 and 2.5 so it still has its moments!

With the age gap you have maybe the challenges come later? If you can elaborate on what you’re finding hard I’m sure someone with better advice than me will come along!

When the youngest starts school

Mine are currently 8,6 & 4, youngest will start school in September. My youngest is still quite hard work mainly because he's always trying to keep up with his older siblings. I'm hoping over the next couple of years once he settles at school he will get a bit easier. Mine are close and do play great games together but also wind each other up very well!

I didn't find having 2 hard. I was pregnant with 3rd when 2nd was young (16.5tmth gap), being pregnant with a baby toddler was tiring but manageable. Our 6th is due soon and we have a set of twins too. There are times that it can feel overwhelming but order returns eventually.

Mine are similar ages and very easy now (youngest 6) but last year easy too.

Maybe its a tough toddler then?

I'm finding they're getting a bit easier at 16 months and 3.5 as they play and giggle together now. 3.5 can be trusted now and 16 month has started to enjoy a little bit of rough and tumble. I'm sure they'll be phases when parenthood is more difficult. 3.5 year old seems to be coming out of the terrible 3s so that's nice too. Other one will be entering soon though 🤷‍♀️

Both mine were a nightmare until about a month before they started school. Then they became my cute little buddies. It's cruel but school and other people get the best of them after they start school so enjoy the nightmare stage.

dc1 and dc2 started getting on really, really well when dc1 left home

I have got two. My eldest is 7.5 years old and my youngest is just about to turn 4 years old.

Someday they are loving and kind and caring and they can play for hours and hours together and I can have a lovely and easy time with them.

On other days though I get constant fighting, bickering, telling tales on each other, arguing, snatching etc and it’s RELENTLESS.

Sometimes I want to pull my hair out and scream because they drive me up the wall so much. There are days when it can be very difficult and patience is definitely pushed.

I’m not sure when it will end....

Personally I think there will always be ‘something’ that makes for a sibling challenge and it will stay that way until one of them moves out.

Around the time that the youngest turned 3! You are nearly there….

It was when my youngest was 4.
In fact, I actually remember the exact moment. We were on holiday in France and it suddenly dawned on me that it was the first time in years that I could actually sit down and relax.
You are almost there!

It’s a tough toddler. I had a much smaller gap of 1.5 years and when the second turned 3 it got much, much easier.

I have three but when my middle one was about 2.5 life got much easier. She was toilet trained, talked in full sentences, rational, independent…
Then I had number 3. He’s now 2.5 and an entirely different kind of toddler. He’s tough going. Waiting for it to get easier!

I have a smaller age gap and I think by the time they were 3/5 they got along so well and I didn’t have any rules apart from being nice to each other and spending all summer going to places like Legoland or play centres, parks, summer fetes or the science museum. Considering their ages they both seem to like any museum and any field where we were walking ddog. They have both said their childhood was a blast.

Once they were both in school it should have got easier although it was school that brought up more problems than I could ever have thought of to the point I took Ds out of school because he wasn’t coping.

I have a 4 year old & 16 month old. I’ve honestly not found it too bad. I mean, there are days, weeks even where it’s HARD. But they get on really well & my eldest is brilliant with her little sister, who in turn finds big sis hilarious. They run to each other for a hug after nursery 😭

I do find Fridays with both of them alone a very tiring day physically & mentally! I try plan an outing to somewhere contained such as softplay or free play gymnastics. And I try to see friends that day & we all help each other with our various aged children!

I suspect it’s the toddler that’s throwing you! My eldest was very up & down from 2-3.5, I found the tantrums & tears exhausting at times. She’s always been very compliant though & well behaved. The opposite of my youngest who is a tiny tear away 😂 so maybe when my eldest is 6 & youngest 3, I’ll be you! 🙈

When they stopped being toddlers.

@YouJustDoYou

When they stopped being toddlers.

Yep - I agree. Youngest was 4 this year, I now have so much more time because you don’t have to watch them all the time! and am physically not exhausted at the end of every weekend day! Mealtimes not so painful and eating out actually a pleasure with them now. Leaving the house so much easier when you don’t need buggy/nappies/to have a fight with a toddler to get shoes on

When my DH left...😀😂

Kingsway
You are right, Dh worked away 2-3 weeks in every 4. When he was away everything was so much easier

@YouJustDoYou

When they stopped being toddlers.

I really think this is what it is

When DD turned 4. DS is 7.

Mines about now, 5 and 3 in a few weeks. They can actually play together for time if I set them up with an activity.

Not for too long though, the nearly 3 year old has an attention span of a gnat and they do wind each other up. So not out of the woods yet. But still, easier than having a baby and a toddler.

I would imagine it's properly 'easier' when they're both children rather than one being a toddler.