When does it get easier?

[pipko]

Seriously when does parenting become easier? I've not had the easiest start to motherhood, I'm a single Mum with a 10 week old daughter, she suffers with extreme acid reflux, cmpa and probably colic. She screams and cries for hours on end, it's inconsolable crying, nothing soothes her. Not to mention she doesn't sleep, as in does NOT sleep ever, which means neither do I. The first 3 weeks of her life I cried and cried, I really grieved my old life and questioned why I wanted a baby in the first place. I love my daughter, but I really struggle to bond with her as she is such a difficult baby and not easy to soothe. She is so unsettled all the time, I feel like my whole life has been paused right now and I'm living in this groundhog day nightmare!! If anyone has had similar experiences please tell me.. when does it pass? When does that light at the end of the tunnel become reachable? When does the crying stop? When do you finally get a full nights sleep?? Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but when?? The midwifes said give it 6 weeks, no change, wait until 10 weeks.. still no change?! Everyone says 'it's hard but it's worth it' please tell me, when the hell does it become worth it?! For someone who wanted a big family, I can safely say, after this experience.. I will never ever ever have another baby!!

6 months, massive turning point for me. She’s 15 months now and I can’t get enough of her. Hang in there!

I've just been reading your other thread and it absolutely does get better, although I know that can be hard to believe right now.

Firstly, I'd get her Tongue Tie reassessed as it can reattach.

Which formula is your LO on? It may be that she needs a completely DF one.

Is she on the correct dose of Omeorazole? It needs increasing as her weight increases.

I know it's hard on your DM & DF as well but could you tell them how much you're struggling and ask them to take her out for a walk this evening for an hour? It will give you a chance to sleep.

Is your HV being supportive at all? Have you told her how you feel?

Gosh, I must sound like a right depressing bugger on my threads! After 10 weeks of sleepless nights & constant crying It's nice to vent and let it all out.

She is on Neocate formula & 13mg of Omeprazole daily, I'm sure this is the maximum dosage for her age. I've tried every herbal and over the counter approach for colic.

My healthcare provider and gp knows how I feel and reassures me that it's completely normal to feel how I feel since my daughter is such a unsettled tricky baby, plus I am doing the most part on my own.

She's also tried baby gaviscon & thickener for her milk, both made her worse and more unsettled, poor soul :(

Have you seen any improvement since the Neocate was introduced and have you been referred to a Paediatrician?

And don't worry about moaning, sleep deprivation is horrendous

12 weeks is easier but also when you get on top of allergies is a big difference. I can’t help with the different formula - DD1 was diagnosed with allergies until 11 months so just stopped formula and DD2 I bf. Join the CMPA Facebook group - not all formulas are the same and get some advice.

As for sleeping no through, neither of mine started to do this until 2 years and even then it was a rare event.

2 boys with severe silent reflux and multiple food allergies

Defo get tongue tied reassessed - milk matters in Huddersfield were the best. Baby will also need some Body work to release any tension to prevent tongue tie reattaching

Have you tried the following? Both gave limited success, any tiny improvement was better than anything

Colic calm
Dentinox drops

Spend time winding as any air in tummy will flare symptoms

Have you got reflux wedges even for nappy changes? Never lay baby flat.

Keep upright after feeds

Baby wear as much as you can to give yourself free hands and keep baby upright

Controversial but I started putting my 12 week old in the jumperoo for 5 mins to give myself a break. He had excellent head control

Please ask for help! Ask your neighbours / friends/ family to take baby for a walk as often as you can

It's so relentless

I know you said thickeners made things worse but did you try them after baby had got used to the neocate or did you make a few changes at once? I would really try again. My first did well on carobel but second didn't so used gaviscon for him

How long since on omeprazole / neocate?

Also the silent reflux cmpa group ok fb is invaluable!

It's better by 4 months and lots better by 6 months.
I wish people were more honest about the first year! Obviously some people love the baby stage but for many it's not as enjoyable as they'd hoped and this is a normal experience to have of motherhood. It's really hard! Especially on your own.Hang in there, look after yourself and know that it's going to get better and actually fun soon!

At four months it was massively easier.

Sorry firing things down as I remember them

Does baby take a dummy? If not then try encouraging it. It will help

White noise to soothe

It will get easier x

I had one of those babies. He slept through from 11 weeks. Thank bloody god!

I found it a bit easier from about 4 months. This coincided with weaning and being put on ranitadine. I don't know which one helped most. I went back to work full time from six months and that helped me too.

But I will be honest, the PND and anxiety I suffered after a difficult birth and a difficult baby hung around for a long time and I genuinely didn't really fully enjoy being a mum until my youngest was born when my eldest was two.

Gradual improvement from 6 months on. Massive improvement from 12 months on. By 18 months I was loving being a parent (having felt like you at the beginning) and I still love it now that DS is 5. He has been a breeze since he was 2, no toddler tantrums etc.

DH had a vasectomy when DS was 11 months as we felt the same as you. This week we had our first appointment for hopefully getting it reversed.

It really will get better :)

@smallstepsonly

Sorry firing things down as I remember them

Does baby take a dummy? If not then try encouraging it. It will help

White noise to soothe

It will get easier x

Yes, she takes a dummy and once she starts sucking she calms down. However, when she is really crying hysterically she won't even tolerate the dummy near her mouth.

My Mum keeps telling me to try her on baby rice or some kind of purée, I personally feel she is still too young. I am willing to try anything that could help though!

Is Colic Calm worth it? I have tried Colief, Infacol and gripe water, none seemed to work.

We tried everything OP and only time worked I'm afraid. It really will get better.

I wouldn't try any food at that age!

Get a wrap sling and keep her in that. If nothing else it will keep her upright and give you free hands.

On top of what everyone else has said don't do back pats to burp her, it really agitates their stomach. Pop her on your knee and gently jiggle instead.

How long has she been on omeprazole? It takes a while of consistent use to work.

I still remember that my DS would stop crying when I played certain songs. So I would listen to them over and over on repeat. I can't listen to any of those songs anymore.

For me, with my third, it became easier after I switched her to lactose free milk which I didn't realise I could buy over the counter. I wish I had known about it with my second ds, he was a nightmare baby.
My health visitor is always adamant you shouldn't change their milk, but this time I thought fuck you and did it. She's my child, I'll decide, and within a week she was much more settled.

We survived the sleep by sharing. So DH would get home at 6 and would immediately have DS while I headed straight to bed. DH would then stay awake with DS until midnight when I would take over whole DH slept until 6am when he needed to go to work.

@pipko

Is Colic Calm worth it? I have tried Colief, Infacol and gripe water, none seemed to work.

I tried all 3 of them too, apparently colief doesn't break down all the lactose. I could have saved a fortune because I tried it with my first 2 kids aswell. With the second it was useless.

@Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

We survived the sleep by sharing. So DH would get home at 6 and would immediately have DS while I headed straight to bed. DH would then stay awake with DS until midnight when I would take over whole DH slept until 6am when he needed to go to work.

Well OP is single so doubt that is possible.

Apologies OP I didn't spot that!

As a PP suggested, it's worth trying Dentinox in each bottle of milk.

The hard thing is that no one can predict when it will get better as it's different for each kid... for my DS is got easier at 8 weeks (as in stopped he stopped crying all evening and went to sleep at 7pm) and has slowly improved over time. He started sleeping through the night at 2.5 years old.

You can do this! Even if it doesn't feel like it right now, you will survive it.