The Annoying dad

[a00031]

My husband is a great provider but I find his relationship with my daughter so odd. He picks and chooses when he feels like playing with her and when he does it's very short lived. Doesnt really teachher much, she has to yell at him multiple times to get his attention while he watches sports videos on his phone. He spends majority of the limited he has with her (he works the night shift so he's awake about 5-6 hours before she goes to sleep) on his phone or In front of a Tv. I have to nag him to play with her, nag him to talk to her. Ugh I'm constantly seeing my daughter talk to him but he's glued to sports videos so he doesn't hear her and she's just left hanging there. So I answer for him or have to say SHES TALKING TO YOU. Always thought it'd be a daddy's girl situation but its soooo not. He wants more kids and I do too but I don't the more time passes and he's the same. For context our daughter is 3. He comes from a household that his parents didn't give him much attention and it shows through his parenting. I've talked to him 10000000 times about how I feel. This is an everyday thing. Should I not care about his relationship with her and just
Continue being the best mommy I can be? It's just so annoying to watch. It makes me sometimes dislike my husband and it most deff makes me not want to have anymore kids with him.

He helps a lot around the house. This is only pertaining to his relationship with our daughter

Can you video him ignoring her so he can see exactly what he's doing, but present it to him in a non-critical way?

If he doesn't know how to interact with her, maybe find an online how to parent short course - if he was ignored by his parents he'll not have much clue.

Suggest they do activities together and he has no screen time during the activity? Jigsaw, lego, baking, painting, gardening, anything to get him off his screen and interacting with her properly.

Don't have any more children with him. Don't even think about it.

Get him to do a parenting course

Ask him how he thinks she feels when he is ignoring her
Ask him each time
Encourage him, show and involve him in play

Don’t have more kids until he put the needs of this child above his own

What @BlankTimes said

I have a similar issue. Bit of background from me...Im not in a relationship with my sons dad anymore (son is 18 months) and his dad has another child from a previous relationship who is now 8, me and my son live 50+ miles away from his dad so only see him every 3 weeks. he does the same thing with his oldest child and has done since i met him. He isnt a paternal person at all and frequently just sits on his phone or in another room or watching tv while his oldest plays on his own. This makes me doubt whether he's responsible enough to look after them both at the same time because my little boy is so young he cant afford to sit around not giving him attention, it frustrates me a lot so i can see why youre so upset/annoyed about it, especially being someone you love and are married to. I agree with others, i would say no to more children until he realises that your child is part of his life too and has to make an effort with her. Kids pick up on people who dont want to be around them or like them very easily so if something isnt done then it could affect the relationship between them even more and he will have a hard time building back that trust that your daughter has for him. Maybe ask him if he would like to take her out for an hour to the park or something where you can let them playing together, if he doesnt like the idea then something needs to be done, he needs to speak to someone to address the reasons why he doesnt spend time with her in the way that he should do, maybe a councillor to open up about his feeling and problems of being a child so that he can see that he is doing the same to your daughter. I hope this helps and all gets better for you soon

It's easier said than done, but I'd set a house rule of no phones when the baby's in the room, and you both stick to it. TV is fine.

Also depending on his personality and approach to problem solving, maybe find a reputable article that talks about the dangers and drawbacks of being glued to a screen when you're raising children. That might get him to listen rather than begging him every day.