2 Year Old Just Suspended from Crèche- Help!

[TrixIrl]

So DD who is 2 years and ,4 months has just been suspended from creche for the next 3 weeks due to biting.

It's been an ongoing but intermittent problem for the last few months, nearly always completely unprovoked,out of the blue etc. She doesn't bite at home so finding hard to see how we're going to help modify this behaviour from here!

Now crèche are waiving fees and doing their best to be supportive but I'm at a loss to see what we can do to fix this. Her speech is quite delayed (a hangover from covid I believe) but she can generally make herself understood. Crèche are seeing this as an opportunity to break the cycle but any advice from the MN hivemind would be very gratefully received!!!!

What help is she getting for her speech delay? I think that frustration with lack of language is often underestimated.

Unfortunately not a huge amount at present, we are on the waiting list for SLT and do a lot of reading and practicing at home.

Her speech is definitely coming on and she can name items and ask for what she wants etc, she's just not very clear. We are in agreement with crèche that while it's definitely a factor it's not THE factor if you know what I mean.

Today for example she walked up to another child that was in another group and bit them on the face, completely out of nowhere.
Yesterday, she woke up first from her nap, rolled over and bit the first thing that was in front of her which happened to be a different child's leg.

That does seem difficult and it's not like they are taking toys from her to prompt this.

What are you doing with her now she's not in the Crèche? Have either of you had to take leave from work?

As for the Speech, I'd try this progress checker from Talking Point. It should give you a good idea of if you need some extra support as it's for 2 years. They do another one for 2 and a half years but I would do that one yet, you may worry yourself as a lot can change in 2 months.

Would private SLT be doable? If it is, it might help you out.

It's also worth getting her hearing checked as a SLT will probably want this doing before they see her.

How do you think covid affected her speech?

@mathanxiety

How do you think covid affected her speech?

Lack of socialising with other children?

Surely it’s socialising with adults that help speech?

Perhaps time out of the crèche will help her language and then reduce the issue. Might be a great opp to break the cycle if she doesn’t bite at home.

Can you get her chewelry? Not sure of the spelling but it's basically necklaces/ bracelets etc that are designed for chewing. If the biting is a sensory thing that may help? Then you could show her at home that she can chew them, might minimise the behaviour at creche?
My first was a biter and this was suggested for her. We never actually bought it as she kind of magically just stopped about 3 years old, thank goodness.

@ToddlerLockdown

Surely it’s socialising with adults that help speech?

I would have thought that adults being at home with children more during lockdown might have helped with language development. Not being with other children isn't a hindrance is it?

Hey @TrixIrl

This is a difficult one
My little girl now 6 used to get continually attacked and bitten but another child in Pre-school and I was that parent who complained as I felt they weren't addressing it and the other child was removed for 4 weeks until the end of term
I'm preety sure the mum knew I'd made the complaint but my little girl was very upset and you have to see that side too.

On your side I'd hire a private speech therapist to do an assessment and hopefully work with you

Covid has made things very difficult for children but there may be an underlying issue that needs addressing

@ToddlerLockdown

Surely it’s socialising with adults that help speech?

Yes but parents and close family members tend to understand or anticipate a 2year olds needs, therefore their need to communicate verbally or use clear language isn't as essential. Mixing and socialising with others creates that need and desire to be understood so they work on that skill. Obviously only one part of language development but covid definitely has played a part in some childrens speech being delayed.

Would giving her an alternative help. Does she have any teething toys you could redirect her towards? Could be an issue with teething or sore ears that make her want to chomp down on people!

Teeth Are Not For Biting book?

OP how often is the biting happening? You say intermittent, but then go on to mention today and yesterday's incidents. Is it a daily occurrence, and is it becoming more frequent? Daily biting is unusual even in children who are known biters, especially as there doesn't appear to be a trigger.

Oh I’ve been there and got the T-shirt with a toddler that bites and it’s one difficult place to be. He didn’t get to the point where he was suspended from nursery but every pick up we were signing incident forms and they put special measures in places. He also had a speech delay. Play dates were horrific. It lasted from about 10 months to just over 2.

No real advice here, just remove him when he bites and reinforce with a firm no, teeth aren’t for biting. It really is just a phase. An awful phase. It made me really think twice about play dates.

Also, I know you feel that everyone is judging you but just think that they can’t tell if their toddler will go through the same phase at any point.

Hopefully once communication moves on a bit, the frustrations will ease and things should improve!

Sorry no advice for the biting but solidarity on the spearhead delay, it’s something that is effecting many little ones due to covid.

My eldest was a biter - he was also speech delayed. And enjoyed banging/stomping etc. Nursery identified before we did that his hearing was also off and as a result he had grommets very early on. This helped with the biting. I would seek help privately if you are able to, if the wait is too long. Best of luck.

Hi everyone, bedtime took me away there.

As to how I think covid has affected her speech, I was working with Public Health all last year so out of the house 16 hours a day X 6/7 days a week for a good 6 months- it was crazy and I de facto stopped parenting now that I look back. Something I regret hugely but in the face of the pandemic, felt it was my duty (if that doesn't sound too corny!!) Meanwhile DH was trying to WFH full-time and mind her as she didn't start crèche until Sept 20.

It'll be likewise tough during the suspension as we are both working but at least I'm WFH now as I'm high risk due to pregnancy and GD.

I've bought the Biting book from Amazon so should be here Mon.

When I say intermittent it could be four days in a row, nothing for a fortnight, then 3 bites in a day, then nothing for a week. She hadn't bitten in 10 days up until yesterday and yet again we thought we had turned a corner so I'm really upset that we are here again, she's such an amazing little girl and it's so frustrating.

Her speech has come on a lot over last couple of months from a standing start really so we were happy to see how it progressed and crèche were very positive and reassuring about it.

I think we will try and progress a private assessment, anything to help at this stage!

I thought that. It is however not that unusual for a two year old to have little or no speech. Once they start they never stop.

Biting is common and a difficult one to deal with. We've had several threads on here about children who bite and how to address it.

Here is a book you could sit and read with your daughter, op, and there are plenty of others if you google. It may even help her speech.

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/books/elizabeth-verdick/teeth-are-not-for-biting/9781575421285?gclid=CjwKCAjwruSHBhAtEiwA_qCpplEerqUOSd9G9dMkp7rMoexcvrnEFAZuCvEJhTh7NOc8eHrEgi-gDhoCGT4QAvD_BwE

I can’t believe they suspended a 2 year old baby for biting!! Surely they need to manage this better? What if you are relying on the childcare for work? If the buying is due to delayed speech then they are discriminating her over something which isn’t her fault ..

My DS was a biter at nursery/preschool the only thing that helped was Chewlery. We called it bite so whenever he would get the urge he would bite that instead. For him he did it to get sensory feedback

I think we will try and progress a private assessment, anything to help at this stage.

Definitely get her hearing checked, you can self refer in most areas

They are doing time outs with her in crèche as well as distraction etc if they feel she is getting wound up but it so often comes out of nowhere that it's very hard to manage. They had her 1-1 at one point but obviously that's not sustainable.

But yes it's absolutely mortifying and frustrating. And I feel so so sorry for the kids who are getting bitten especially as they aren't provoking the behaviour. And the other parents are completely right to be complaining if this is where the suspension has come from, I'd be the same!

I'll probably get flamed for saying this but from what you've said I'd consider doing the MChat test. I wish I'd known about it when my LO was 2 and was sometimes anxious and had speech delay.

What about using sign language to help with the frustration ?

My youngest was speech delayed and we joined tiny talk (or something like that was many years ago) that helped with frustration build up . Nursery were great too and had pictures / flash cards to help

Different child was bitten a couple of times at nursery and it was very upsetting all round (flowers)