Delegate, make everyone pull their weight.
My experience is that apart from little children, you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to, and it's exhausting trying. Mine helped out when they were young, but now they are teens they do nothing but make mess. DH too. It is depressing.
Yesterday I asked DH if, this summer, he would help me clear out two spaces under our terrace that are full of old (heavy) gardening equipment and ancient paddling pools etc, and he looked at me as though someone had died 
I am at my wit's end too op. 
. I don't know what to suggest except leaving your DH with the DC and a long list of household chores for a long weekend and see how he likes it?
Also could you record in to your phone every single task you do in a week, however small, write them all out, then work out the number of hours you both have available outside work, and divide accordingly. You shouldn't have to micro- manage it all like this but there we are.
The other alternatives are going from PT to sahm. (Not recommended as you will end up doing more housework.)
How about employing a cleaner or mother's help and economising in some other area to pay for them?
Good luck