17 month old - bedtime tears

[Whathefisgoingon]

We have tried various sleep routines & even courses, and the only way we can all get a decent nights sleep is letting him fall asleep with me in bed and transferring him to his bed. He wakes at 10 and comes in with us where he’ll sleep until 6:30.

We normally read his book in bed then put it away and I cuddle him to sleep, however the last few nights he’s not been having any of it. As soon as the book is finished and I put it down, all hell breaks lose and he goes wild. The first night it went on for an hour so I brought him back downstairs and he fell asleep watching Frozen, last night I persevered and he eventually fell asleep.

Seems like a horrible way for him to he going to sleep every night, but there’s quite literally nothing else I can do for him as I’m already holding him and he’s already in our bed!

Does it sound like we need to push bed time back a bit? I’m thinking maybe he’s just not tired enough anymore. Bedtime is 7.

Bedtime doesn't have to be at 7pm. Why not keep him with you downstairs until he falls asleep and then put him to bed; he may wake later and join you in bed but at least you all get a decent night's sleep.

It sounds as though he is not sufficiently tired when you try putting him to bed and he is attempting to communicate that to you.

What time is his nap, and how long? I found that longer nap makes my 20mo too alert for 7pm bedtime sadly.

Also the amount of physical activity they need is just incredible. In this heat it's less, but yesterday I spent 3 hours in the oven (3-6pm) outside in a playground and walking and pushing scooter pushbike etc just to get his energy level down. He still went to bed at 8pm only.

It does sound like he might not be tired enough? Or just hot and uncomfortable!

My 20mth old DD struggles to get to sleep earlier than 7.45/8pm at the moment, the heat isn't helping but I also think we might need to curtail her lunchtime nap. We've been making sure she's up by 2.30, but I'm thinking we might need to make sure the nap is shorter too - maybe 1.5hrs max.

They do seem to have just boundless energy, even full days at nursery and a play in the garden when she gets home doesn't seem to tire DD out.

Thanks all. He has one nap at 10/11 for about an hour & a half!

17m DS has a similar daytime nap schedule OP (and he is up in the mornings around 7am) and he never goes to bed before 8.30pm. Even then, sometimes if he's not that tired, he'll attempt to delay things just like your LO so I have a feeling your LO may not actually be ready for bed that early?

Oh god. Looks like we’re pushing bed time back a bit then! Thanks all.

Offering the opposite view - could he be overtired if he wakes from his nap before 1 and bedtime is not until 7? My 2 year old still has an hour 1-2 with bed at 7. Also he’s at the age where I wouldn’t necessarily expect him to fall immediately asleep - the goal is for him to be happy in his cot babbling and wriggling until he winds down. I’m afraid my personal philosophy is consistency is key - he’s always going to prefer to snuggle and watch frozen if that’s an option, and it being an option some nights but not others is going to confuse him.

Yep agree, if he is up at 12 or 12:30 and bedtime is at 7 that is way too long at 17m (but all babies are different).

I'd move lunch nap for 12 and let him sleep as long as he wants, then adjust bedtime about 5,5 or 6 hours after he woke up. My one will nap till 3pm sometimes 3:30 and still will go to bed 7:30/8:30pm. And fall asleep. Perhaps play with the times see what works. Good luck :)

Thanks! So he used to have 2 naps, and on some days he still does. I let him lead the way! But usually I’d say he has one long nap. Nothing has changed in terms of his routine and yet he’s started kicking off at bed time. I’ll play around with things and see how he goes!

Hi again.

Today he had his nap 12-2, but as I post this he is currently sat in the living room squeeling his head off and playing.

I think part of the issue may be that for the last few days we’ve not put him down in his sleeping bag as it’s just been so hot!