My newborn is awake all day and I’m at my wits end

[Floopyandtired]

My 7 week old just will not sleep in the day no matter what I do. I do everything you’re supposed to do: short wake window (no more than 1 hour), look out for tired signs, do literally anything I can do get him to sleep. I rock, shush, swaddle, push in buggy, feed, put in sling, sit in a dark room, offer a dummy (not interested) etc. But nothing works. I’d do anything to get him to sleep. If he wanted to sleep on me all day, no problem. But he doesn’t. He’ll fall asleep then 2 minutes later his eyes ping open and he’s awake and the whole cycle starts all over again. He eventually crashes out for the evening at some point between 7 & midnight. I’m tearing my hair out. Please help me!

He's 7 weeks old...using things like 'short wake window' isn't helpful because he's just too tiny to 'manage' at this point. Unfortunately, they just do what they want at this age.

He must sleep at some point? Is it just that the naps are really short? What's he doing in between naps? Crying? Does he want to be on you all the time? Have you tried a sling?

My eldest was like this. He only ever napped for 30 minutes at a time no matter what I did. I eventually gave up worrying about it in the end. He slept all night and I just accepted that messing around with his day time sleep would probably bugger up his night time sleep which I wasn't prepared to risk.

You just get used to never having a break and doing absolutely everything with a small person in tow.

You just have to stop worrying about it, newborns are a law unto themselves. My eldest would only sleep on a very short buggy ride.. then ping, wide awake and especially if we stopped!
By six months he would nap on me so at least I could sit down with the telly.. by 12 months he’d nap in the cot

I would love to stop worrying about it, but by the end of the day he gets himself in such a pickle he’s a screaming overtired mess. He screams for hours. I feel like I’m failing him completely. He wants to sleep and I’m trying to help him do it but it’s not working. If he was awake and cheerful I wouldn’t be concerned but he’s not. I have tried a sling and he just screams because he wants to feed (but when I try to feed him he screams even more). It’s relentless. Sorry for the whinge! I really do appreciate the replies.

@Floopyandtired I had this with my firstborn. He started to nap from about five months, but that was a little difficult in itself. Eventually he had a good two hour nap in the middle of the day, but also had days where he would fight it too

Sorry to hear :( It's a cycle of hungry and tired I am sure. My 1st one was similar, but he did settle in a sling and in a moving pram. I also put him down on his stomach so his hands did not flap around (but I did not know about this plus then, he just somehow always slept slightly better in that position so I left him). He could move his head one side to the other since birth though. I used to carry him in the tiger position with a muslin over his head and a dummy jammed in (judge me, I was desperate) and that worked. It was relentless.

I'd honestly try when he is the least tired (morning?) after feed immediately do sling and walk (terrible timing with this heat but perhaps still worth a try?). I also used a bouncer (Bjorn) so he was awake but at least not screaming.

Basically I kept trying anything and everything until something worked. If it helps at all, I have 2nd now that is heavenly perfect and sleeps by itself for hours and never cries (the universe has rewarded me, I keep telling myself).

Also at times, and not everyone can do this, it's OK to put them down safely and go shower, eat, have tea and just sit down for 5 minutes. You need to keep sane, otherwise you'll break.

I think the extended crying towards the end of the day is quite a common witching hour/colic thing so not necessarily as a result of your baby not napping enough. How long are you trying to get your baby to sleep using each of the methods you’ve mentioned? With the sling for example, if my DD was overtired, she would usually protest loudly for a few minutes before settling to sleep on me. I would just keep walking round bouncing until she did and then keep moving whilst she slept. I think a large majority of babies that age need to nap in motion and if the motion stops they wake - could that be what’s happening?