Co-parenting

[Loulou2208]

Hi, I finished with my partner of 4.5 years 3 months ago. When we finished I told him he could see our child when he wanted. I offered him to bath him, give him dinner etc but he has made no effort. Now i just think it's so confusing for our 1 year old soon who now hasn't seen his dad in 2 and a half weeks. He hasnt even asked for him and never wants to see him on weekends as this interferes with his drinking.

Basically I would be far happier raising my child on my own. He pays £100 a month as maintenance and refuses to buy anything to have him at his flat. He hasnt turned up 5 times now and has now gone 2 and a half weeks without seeing him.

I have told him that he can come in and out of his sons life when it suits him. I don't want him hurt like that.

I can provide everything my child needs in terms of love emotions and financially.

Basically when can I tell him that he can no longer see his son and he is makes no effort?

Edit -

He has 5 kids in total. The first one he had very little contact her whole life, she is 18 now. The other 3 with his ex wife he sees once a week but only because she makes him as she needs a break. He doesn't provide for them apart from the maintenance he has to pay. Refuses to buy them clothes and only spends any more on them at their birthday and Christmas.

He has called me everything under the sun since we finished and did tell me if I was to finish with him he would take our child with him. I just think it's unsettling for our child to go weeks without seeing him and then only seeing him for an hour or so a week. Since we have finished he has seen him on average 2 hours a week. And nothing is consistent. He was taking him a walk, then giving him a bath then dinner. Everything lasted a week or two. Now he just doesn't bother at all to see him

Stop now, he’s clearly not bothered. But do pursue him for maintenance through cms- it’s your son’s money.

If you have more kids maybe take a good hard look at how their dad treats any existing kids first!

Doesn’t sound like you need to do anything to stop him seeing the child other as he is choosing this himself.

You can stop contact whenever you want if you don’t think it is in your child’s interests.

Of course he could then try to get a court order for contact but by the sounds of it he wouldn’t put himself out enough to make the effort.

Up to you, my kids dad doesn’t see them at all, hasn’t bothered in years. As someone else said doesn’t seem like he will take you to court so just stop if you think it’s best, you can’t force him to be involved

Please don't give him free access. Every day he is a no show will do your head in when you should be enjoying your dc.... Send him 2 slots that are convenient for you. If he doesn't make the effort then that's on him. Cms for sure.. He doesn't get to decide he isn't properly supporting your dc..

I’d add to make arrangement in writing by email. Then keep a paper trail or missed visits or lack of input from him in arranging consistent regular contact. Then you have it should be choose to go to court at a later date (not that he sounds like he would).