Can poor sleep genuinely make you depressed?

[Londonlady92]

My 2.9 year old hasn't slept for 9 weeks out of the blue, was always a good sleeper before that.

Im starting to feel like i am depressed and the no sleep is what has caused it. She is miserable all day due to poor sleep and there is no joy in the days or nights anymore.

Hasn’t slept for 9 weeks? Do you mean napping or sleeping through or?

It can definitely take a toll on you. Could you maybe speak to your HV or GP about her sleep? Can anyone else help you so you can have a break?

Oh definitely. I’ve been feeling so grumpy and annoyed and even felt like I wanted to leave DP this weekend because I’m just so sodding tired

Sleep through. She wakes up to 6 times a night.

Doesn't nap anymore hasn't for a long while, but always slept 7-7 even without the nap

@summersflowers I feel the same its put such a strain on me and my husbands relationship.

The amazing @FATEdestiny may be able to advise. @FATEdestiny needs a mumsnet award for sure!

I don't have a toddler but sounds like a regression so maybe back to sleep training? Warm milk before bed, no screen time after 5pm if there is any, long after dinner walk? Sorry if you've tried all of these. It could be a bad habit that just needs a breaking, maybe a really busy day out at the beach, loads of fresh air and running around?

Are you me? The worst I've felt was when my DS decided sleep was for the weak at about 2.5. It was worse than having a newborn. He dropped his nap then but I found he was actually better if he had one every 3-4 days even if that meant driving up and down the nearest dual carriageway way for 45 minutes. I also just had to wear him out as much as possible - we were in lockdown 1 so it was endless obstacle courses in the living room, sofa soft play and our daily trip to the park was just about running from place to place.

We got him a single bed rather than a toddler bed and I just used to get in with him when he woke on the night as he'd eventually drop off and at least I could get some sleep. It was painful and a real shock to the system after having had a decent stretch of uninterrupted sleep for months beforehand.

@PerfectPrepPrincess thanks for the kind advice, sadly have tried all these things out of desperation.

@Blippibloppi omg this is me driving miles to try and get her to nap in the car its insanity. I have battled whether to move her to a bed but think it'll be worse having her running around waking my eldest. Did it ever stop for you?

GP visit then unfortunately 😞

Have you tried a later bedtime?

www.healthline.com/health/childrens-health/3-year-old-sleep-regression

@Blippibloppi we've been to the GP and no obvious cause was found, she told me its just a phase.

I've tried later and earlier, its hard to do later bedtimes when shes exhausted from no sleep its a vicious cycle

I assumed it was a sleep regression until we passed 6 weeks, do sleep regressions last almost 3 months?

Of course it can, it alters your hormone balance so a strong link to mood.
Try to get some power naps in if you can,if anyone could take lo off your hands for a short time you can try catch up on sleep.

OH works long hours and so does my mum, no one to have her sad. Its tough.

It definitely affected me like that. When my DS1 was little the HV thought I had PND when he was about 6 months old but it was just sleep deprivation - he never slept well from birth but it got worse and he started waking every 40 minutes. I felt almost instantly better after we sleep trained and he went down to one night waking (genuinely hungry). And he cheered up too!

I think it's unusual if it doesn't lower your mood to be honest, especially if it lasts for more than a few days.

I feel like if the sleep improved I would instantly feel happier so I don't feel right calling it depression as such but my god I am so low and unhappy I miss normal life

@Londonlady92 have you tried sleep training?

Sleep dep absolutely fucks with your brain and definitely mood.

Agree with power nap idea. It must be killing you. Sympathies.

@SarahDarah problem is she goes to bed fine no fuss, when she wakes around midnight I go in tell her its bedtime and leave she will lay there awake for hours not always crying so its hard to use the cry it out method if she's not crying if thst makes sense?

[quote Londonlady92]@SarahDarah problem is she goes to bed fine no fuss, when she wakes around midnight I go in tell her its bedtime and leave she will lay there awake for hours not always crying so its hard to use the cry it out method if she's not crying if thst makes sense?[/quote]
If she’s not crying then why can’t you just leave her in her cot and go back to sleep?

My husband is military so I get the not having help, you're right it can be tough.
I agree with pp, if she's not crying then leave her to amuse herself in the cot and get your head down. She is in a safe place and can cry if she needs you.

One of ours used to wake up in the night but didn’t cry. After he fell asleep at bedtime, we left him some safe toys to play with when he woke up. Worked a treat for him.

Think is she will stay awake till 6am if I don't tell her to lay back down, she was up 12am till 3am last night I am exhausted, in thinking maybe because she doesn't nap she is too over tired so waking up? Thing is no matter what i try now she won't nap in the day so I can't even do that

@Londonlady92 if she's not crying or distressed, boredom is the way to encourage sleep.

Don't go in at all. As long as she's not upset, you just go back to sleep in your own bed. There is zero need for this to affect your own sleep.

If she gets over tired, put her to bed early.