Really need advice on how to deal with our baby when my husband returns to work.

[OnyxGold]

I just had a baby six months ago, This is our only baby that fully attached herself to her dad.
The issue is my husband will be returning to work after having time off from his work injury. Our baby cant go 5 minutes without fussing for her dad.
It stresses me out what I'm actually going to do when he returns to work.
We could distract her for a few minutes but that's all we could get out of her. My biggest worry is the night shifts he does when my other kids go back to school and she's up all night.
Figured it may be a good idea to sort something now instead of leaving it until the last minute.

Does he go out now and leave you two together?

If not, I'd try to start building that up now.

Is he the one that settles her if she wakes at night as well?

When he does need to go out it's always when she's down taking a nap.

Usually he does since I give up when she wont settle.

Keep building in time that is just the two of you now - start with a short stretch and build up to it. Plan for something distracting and fun in that time (lunch / messy play / screen time - whatever usually keeps her occupied) and try to have him return before she gets bored and starts looking for him.

I’d also persist with settling her at night, even if you have a hard few days of it at first.

You've not done yourself any favours by giving up and letting her have what she wants.
You just need to be persistent and she will adjust to it being you who she has to settle with.

I’m no expert, but that sounds unusual! Does your husband do all the feeds?

Could you get DH to sleep with her sheets or grobag for a couple of nights so that her cot has the smell of him?

Your just going to have to put on your big girl pants and do it! You're her Mum, as long as you're kind calm and consistent she'll adjust. It might take a while and it won't be fun but that's part and parcel of parenting.

So she'll move than likely cry a bit, you'll reassure her, maybe distract with games & trips out for walks, make sure she's fed, has naps, is comfortable & clean and eventually it will be ok.

She's fine with me when I feed her, so no.

Take ownership.
N0tfinished Has it pretty accurately.

How to break habits? Patterns of behaviour ... They’ve the same methods.

• swap roles with your H. You do the feeds, baths. Keep calm & if you don’t get the job done, achieve the goal - so what? Didn’t have a bath. Didn’t get changed into pjs. We’ve all been there.
• you need, in your baby’s eyes, to become the provider of sustenance, activity, close contact & overall contact. Of things that happen that they’ll become familiar with.

Day 1: - it’ll be hell. Anticipate it. Tell yourself it’ll happen. But don’t change. You’re mum & this is the new way. Day 2: Day 2,3,14, 21 - baby will eventually suss out - look, I would prefer the bearded one but this other person will do. All habits can be broken.

Add an activity, flap a towel, sing the sound of music, do star jumps. Doesn’t matter what. The baby is mesmerised - even if bawling. You, girl, you’ve got to boss it. There is no alternative - this is, you are, the law! Believe in your strength & patience. Stick with it. Write you’re own plan.

You’ve got to have you’re ‘pressure relief’ valve in your ankle. It lets off steam at a low & an early stage and NOT at the top of your head. You control it. If your babe kicks off - wander around singing even ABBA or whatevs. Your babe can’t compute😼🙀. You are leading & initiating the activity & not the other way around.

Then turn on the lavish love. Pick up. Smother in kisses. Tickle, lift up & down. Make things happen.
Make things happen with you in control. Go out front or back door? Look at the sky ... talk about whatever but you are in control.

P.s. expect your H to be jealous. Support him through his loss because it’s crap having to go back to work.

Desperate to find out if it works!🙃