Feeling broken

[OlderMum13]

Yesterday my 8year DD caught me as I came out of the shower to which she shouts , get dressed you’re fat & ugly. This absolutely broke me, yes I’m overweight, struggling with menopause but never I expect this. I no idea where it came from, where she’s heard it but now it’s stuck in my head. I love her to bits but am struggling 🥲

I can imagine how upsetting that is, but try not to take it to heart too much.

Have you had a talk with her since about fat shaming and how you felt when she said those things? Eight is old enough to learn about empathy and consequences for being mean.

A book like Each Kindness might help to bring the message home as well.

Good luck OP, I'm going through the Peri-menopause as well and it can really batter your confidence can't it?

She’s old enough for a talk about why she should t say hurtful things, why fat shaming is wrong, and why she needs to learn how to be empathetic.

Sorry you’re hurt op I would be too. She’ll just be testing boundaries - it’s not a real reflection of her feelings towards you.

Sorry OP that’s hard- you’re going to have to push your feelings aside though and have a discussion on being kind and also why body image is irrelevant and health is important.
Weight can be lost so pls don’t get overly down

Kids say awful things without much awareness of how their words can hurt.

Firstly, don't take it as a personal criticism. Deep down, she loves you to bits.

Secondly, I agree with pp about teaching her kind ways.

Thirdly, maybe people at school are saying unkind things to her and she is just dealing with it in the only way she can think of, by copying being mean.

Don't expect her to apologize. But do pick your moment for a chat with her.