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Partner wont give me a break because he works and I dont.

30 replies

Sophie1029734 · 17/07/2021 20:02

My partner works from 8am to 4.30pm. I'm a stay at home mum with a little girl who is 18months.
I do everything in the house, my partner has never done anything.. even after I gave birth and was sore, stitches, could barley walk. I was also doing everything for LO with next to no sleep, it got so bad I was hallucinating.. whilst he used his baby leave for himself. At a push he would have her so I can shower, go to morrisons for a shop. Now I just order online.

Today I just felt everything getting to me. LO was haveing tantrums, following me everywhere. Its boiling so all the jobs felt more exhausting. When I went outside for space, to vape, zone out and sit on my phone watching some videos. 15 minutes in (if that) he brings lo outside to me and walks away. He said hes got a headache. I suffer with depersonilsation. I basically feel very disconected, foggy and weird. I feel more tired than the average person, I also get frequent migraines that last days. i never complain, I just get through the day. But when he has a headache it's as if I should kiss his ass. He was probabaly lying to make up an excuse to fo back to do focusing on himself.

I just wanted and when I try he brings her to me. He said to me that I live the life and I've got nothing to be stressed about. I asked him if he appreciated what I do for you and he turns it round and says I dont appreciate what he does. I show him I do by makeing sure everything is done for him, his dinners on the table etc I do my part by giveing myself to everyone but myself everyday. I've tried to explain that I can never shut off, I can never relax.. just stop. I get no help, then he says I dont help with Bill's. I'm lucky to get any type of answer because he could be lying there completely blinking me, turning up the TV and telling me to be quiet hes trying to watch the TV. I feel like I'm drowning in responsibility, losing myself and forgetting who I am because all I do is focus on everyone else. I resent him so much.

OP posts:
MarianneUnfaithful · 18/07/2021 08:15

Have you asked him if he loves his child and enjoys spending time with her?

It’s sad that he doesn’t see his time at home as a time to spend with his little girl.

He sounds sexist, and incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.

TolkiensFallow · 18/07/2021 08:22

He sounds horrible OP. Do you even like him? Can you leave?

GettingUntrapped · 18/07/2021 08:38

He sounds like a severe danger to your mental health.
Disassociating is a symptom of severe trauma. Please see your GP and see if they can arrange trauma counseling for you.

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again2020 · 22/07/2021 18:27

My situation is very similar to yours OP. Except my daughter is older (3.5) and I work 3 days a week. I've clung to my job for dear life as it's like a holiday compared to my home life. I look after DD every day and do all housework. I give him plenty of money for bills too. He think that because he works full time and earns better money he can treat me like that and do whatever he likes outside the home while I always have to beg for it 😔
It's a horrible shit situation to be in, just wanting to let you know you are not alone.

One thing I've done is not had another child with him, despite him putting intense pressure on me to.

I don't have a solution but FlowersCake

TuckItInYourHeart · 12/09/2021 07:58

Could have written this myself. My husband also works in construction, he doesn't help me with our two children either because he works and I don't (our two children are disabled) he spends all his evening/weekends glued to his phone. Ignores our son (my daughter is non verbal) when he talks to him because he's totally obsorbed by his phone. I'm asking myself why is he even here..big hugs op

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