Weaning worries!

[Karenah86]

I've been weaning my DS for nearly a week now. He's 25 weeks so I started a couple of weeks early as he was showing all the signs of being ready. I initially started with offering mashed foods on a spoon with finger food alongside for him to try himself. He seemed to prefer the finger food so thought I'd stick with a blw approach and scrap the spoon feeding, which actually suits us both as its much easier for me in terms of prep too! It was all going quite well, he was playing with the food, throwing it on the floor as to be expected, but also putting some in his mouth, attempting to chew, sometimes spitting it out, but all normal for blw as far as I know? Then my mum was over yesterday. She really doesn't understand the blw concept. She's from the older generation who used the traditional puree method of weaning, starting at 4 months etc. In fact she's been hassling me for ages to start him on solids but I've stood my ground! Anyway I gave ds a banana to try and I ended up in tears as my mum kept going on that he wasn't eating enough of it, couldn't I just mash some up and feed it to him etc. I love my mum to pieces and she's been such a massive support to me over the past 5 months. She also felt incredibly guilty about making me upset and apologised for the rest of the day. However I'm now questioning whether I am doing the right thing with blw and maybe he isn't getting enough 😩 So I guess I'm just after some reassurance really! Has anyone else had the same with their parents/in laws? Is there any way I can help my mum understand the blw approach?

You are absolutely doing the right thing. We're doing BLW and it does take time for babies to get used to food. For quite a while, it's really just a sensory experience. They get to touch, smell and play with different textures and colours. They might just put some in their mouth and if they do, it'll probably come back out. After a couple of months, you might find some starts going down (you'll know by what you see in the nappies) but this will most likely be by accident. After another few weeks (or maybe a couple more months even) your baby may make the connection that food fills them up and they will start eating with intention. BLW takes time and patience. The idea that babies need solids from 4 months is very outdated. Some people do seem to panic about how much their baby is consuming but the best thing you can do is to relax and not even think about how much your baby is having.

I'd highly recommend reading the book 'Baby Led Weaning'. It really helped me understand the principles and helped me relax.

It's so common for the older generation to find BLW a bit strange and confusing. My FIL once asked when we were going to feed our dd 'proper baby food'...! I think the best thing you can do is to say something like, 'we've chosen to do baby led weaning. It's very common these days.' if there are concerns about choking, I'd point to the NHS website which states that there's no higher risk with BLW than traditional purees. You could even hand her the book I mentioned above.

You've got this! You know what you're doing is right and you've done well to stick to your guns. Don't let your mum shake your confidence xx

@ASomers Thank you so so much, this is exactly what I needed to hear! I'll definitely check the book out. I think deep down I know that it's fine he's not eating much and just exploring the food, it's such early days! But you're right, it's my mum that's shaken my confidence. Hopefully she'll come round to the idea and understand it all a bit better over time. Thanks again, hope your blw journey is going well!

All sounds really normal. He’s still very little. Mine weren’t even eating yet at that stage and not eating any significant amount until 9-10 months, which is perfectly typical and fine.

My mum is very similar! Kept asking me when I was going to start purées. I told her about blw at six months. Last time she visited she bought me lots of baby purées from the supermarket... Generous of her and I won't waste it but not what I am planning to do! I'm hoping my baby at least eats something so next time my mum visits she can see it's working to an extent. If not I hope my mum backs off a bit but she can be quite persistent.

On a positive note at least our LOs have very vested grandparents. Even if their advice isn't always helpful.

Sounds really normal. I did BLW with DD1 and I tried traditional puree with DD2 (I thought it would be easier with multiple allergies) but DD2 had different ideas so we did BLW.

@karenah86 no worries! Weaning is going great for us. My dd is 11 months now and eating a significant amount. I still dont know exactly how much she's eating but I always find nappies are the easiest way to tell!

My mum had heard of BLW but didn't know much about it. She was nervous to watch my dd eating solids at first but after watching her eating so well, she thinks it's amazing! Hopefully your mum will come round after learning a bit more about it and watching your LO at meal times.

All the best! X

Thanks all! Definitely the reassurance I was looking for! Feeling much better about it all now. Just need to work on convincing my mum 😂

@Skyla01 good to know your mum is similar and it's not just mine! I'm also hoping my ds starts eating a bit more so she can see its working! So true that at least our LO's have loving grandparents though! That's a good way to look at it ☺️

Your mum's views are quite outdated. It used to be the way to get them onto food as quickly as possible so you could stop breastfeeding/formula. It used to be cow's milk rather than formula from 6 months as well, so babies really did need the nutrients from food as they weren't getting it in their milk.

These days we know a much better source of those nutrients is milk (breastmilk or formula) so we continue these milks until at least a year and it means that we can be much more laid back about them having solid food. It's not quite "food before one is just for fun", but it's certainly not a problem at all if they are only taking small amounts when they've only just started, and you don't need to rush onto three meals a day or try to persuade him to eat more than he wants to. He will get there at his own pace :) Modern advice is also to be much more hands off about amounts and let him eat as much as he wants which will help him recognise his hunger/fullness cues. That old-school "you must finish your plate" is recognised to be potentially harmful these days as it teaches children to override fullness cues which can lead to issues regulating their food intake and therefore later their weight.

For this reason though I'd just ignore her rather than try to convince her, or just shake your head and say something noncommittal like "Oh mum it's all changed now, they don't want you to do that any more, don't worry, he'll be fine."

@BertieBotts Thanks for your advice! That all makes perfect sense and reassures me that I'm doing the right thing! I know my mums views are outdated, they are on lots of things! I think I'll use your exact words above if she says anything again 🙈

@Karenah86 You’re definitely doing the right thing! My MIL had a full meltdown when she watched me sit DS down with “proper food” one day when she was round at lunchtime. Told me that I had to wean him on baby jars because it “tells you what ones are suitable for what age” and that I was being unfair to him because he needs Rusks to help his teeth to cut through 🙈😅

Keep doing what you’re doing 😊 BLW can be a bit of a slow start while baby figures out what in earth all this new stuff is but once they get going it’s great 😊 My DS is almost 9 months and now taking 3 meals a day! He swallows at least half of what’s on his plate depending on the mood he’s in 😊 👏🏼

We did BLW and my daughter didn't actually eat much till 10 months! The grandparents were very confused and concerned but once she started eating more were amazed at how well she fed herself and she still (aged 6) eats more and is less fussy than all her cousins. We just ignored the comments (but made sure we took a splash mat so the food throwing/dropping stage didn't make a mess at their house).