going back to work after baby - how did you cope?

[miniegg]

i'm going back to work in January after six wonderful months off following the birth of my first baby. I'm beginning to feel really sad about having to leave him... He'll be looked after by a nanny for four days a week and my husband for the fifth. I have to go back to work as we have a massive mortgage. I quite like my job and it pays quite well so I'm going to try and make the best of it.
any tips for surviving?

No tips for surviving but lots of sympathy - I'm also going back in January and although I'm looking forward to it, it also breaks my heart to think of leaving her!

miniegg - if you have another you can have more m/l

Perhaps that wasn't quite the sort of tip you were hoping for.....

I'm going back tomorrow, though not full time. Dreading it to be honest.

i hated going back to work. spent the first few weeks making sure that everything was packed away and ready the moment the bell went (I'm a teacher) so that i could leave immediately to pick up ds.

then i started to enjoy going into work a little more, then i would even stay for a little while after the bell and do some work. Now i actually leave ds in nursery a little while after i finish, and have a minute to myself.

Suppose what i am trying to say is, yes it is really hard at first, but give it a month or so and you will honestly not have the feeling that you should be with your lo ALL the time.

Well thats my experience anyway. hth a little. Good luck xxx

As much as I felt worried and sad about leaving DD1 (with my mum luckily) I in fact found that going back to work gave me back a bit of my identity again, I wasn't just Mummy and was able to use more of my "work" braincells rather than just the "mummy" ones! lol! I found after the first week, it was like I hadn't been away but the few weeks leading up to going back I became quite anxious and thought "God all i know is nappy, baby mush and nursery rhymes"!

Going back to work after DD2 wasn't as bad either as I knew what to expect.

Good luck sushi, sure you will be fine!

Thanks, am secretly hoping the nursery will have burnt down overnight.

Miniegg, I had my first day back at work today, yes it was everything I'd dreaded, cried when I left her, felt terrible.

But after a few hours, I got into my work, I stopped looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes for my child and relaxed a bit. Still did not enjoy the day, but it got better as the time went on. The nursery called me at lunch time to say she was fine, very nice of them.

At the end of the day I ran to get her and she wasn't even fussed to see me.

I did however get her first ever painting which has been proudly stuck to the fridge door.

Dreading tomorrow, but don't think I'll cry.

Hi miniegg,

I too went back full time last Jan when DS was 6 months old. I couldn't afford a nanny so opted for nursery which I was in torment over as so many reports on nurseries not being the best option for under 2s etc.

Anyway, it didn't take him long to adjust to the new routine and then to actually really enjoy it. For me, I settled back in immediately, despite being made to feel guilty by my stay at home mum friends.

It is hard, esp as I have a demanding job, work long hrs, do the majority of the housework, and have ds, but I feel like "me" again, which I didn't when I was at home (plus, like you, I couldn't afford not to work!). I think once you get over the guilt and realise that babies adapt easily to new situations, you just settle into a new routine, and you do survive!

(and, when ds had his 1st birthday party, I was so excited to see him mixing with all my friends' children, one of them actually said she wished she had as much patience with hers because being with them all day every day kind of wears you down) - anyway, that made me feel a lot less selfish for being a working mum!)
good luck!
x

My dp looks after our two kids which made it easier for me to go back to work full time (first few weeks were really bad!) but then i know they are at home with their dad and that I get the good part after tea to play, bath and bedtime. i do feel the downside is that dd only "met" other kids when she started nursery at 3 years ( dp felt too intimidated at parent / toddler groups as no dads went) so i do think that nursery is important for building up social skills! It does get easier and you do get all the good bits and I live for weekends!

Probably not the right thing to say, but as a SAHM to 2 girls, I envy you.