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Original poster

Neglect?

42 replies

Anon13l · 16/07/2021 11:37

Hi, i am concerned about 2 children i know who live in my area but im not sure what to do and if the parents are neglectful or not?
The house is filthy and clutter everywhere and it stinks of ciggarettes, kitchen floor covered in rubbish and junk, the dad smokes weed and the mother drinks infront of children, parents always arguing and children are off school alot. The dad smokes cannabis and other issues.
What should i do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon13l · 16/07/2021 12:23

@peachescariad

Yes sadly, this is neglect. Contact your local safeguarding children partnership or if you know the school they attend, then the DSL.
Im emailing the schools safeguarding officer and he told me to contact childrens social care
OP posts:
Doubledoorsontogarden · 16/07/2021 12:26

School, ASAP before end of term

Original poster
Anon13l · 16/07/2021 12:30

@Doubledoorsontogarden

School, ASAP before end of term
End of term is today for the summer, but the dsl said to contact child social care
OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 16/07/2021 13:45

Surely if they are going to school with poor hygiene school safeguarding will already have picked up on this. Neglect is covered in safeguarding training, as are the symptoms to look out for.

notgoingtoapologiseanymore · 16/07/2021 20:33

calling social services is just going to put more stress on them and make them more neglectful as they'll be jumping through hoops in the agency and also parenting on top of that which they already aren't keeping up with. maybe offer to help? I don't know when drugs and smoking are involved its kind of a lost cause as they need addiction services. I just feel like if a family is slipping under social services just make things worse and don't offer help just put more pressure on the family...

GreyhoundG1rl · 16/07/2021 20:41

Some people keep their toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet. Ours even has inbuilt chargers for electric ones.
I do this in summer when there are lots of flies about.
Did you really nose around in their bathroom storage?

Original poster
Anon13l · 16/07/2021 21:08

@GreyhoundG1rl

Some people keep their toothbrushes in the bathroom cabinet. Ours even has inbuilt chargers for electric ones. I do this in summer when there are lots of flies about. Did you really nose around in their bathroom storage?
There's nothing in the bathroom no cabinets, no storage or anything like that its empty
OP posts:
GintyMcGinty · 16/07/2021 21:15

NSPCC or social services now. Don't leave it.

TigersandTeddybears · 16/07/2021 21:30

The title is as though it's a question, when really this is more like a description. It's obviously neglect. Is it bad enough neglect for the state to intervene? I don't know, the threshold seems to be quite low a lot of the time. But the neglect, combined with the drugs/alcohol sounds like there is a lot going on here.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/07/2021 21:44

@notgoingtoapologiseanymore

calling social services is just going to put more stress on them and make them more neglectful as they'll be jumping through hoops in the agency and also parenting on top of that which they already aren't keeping up with. maybe offer to help? I don't know when drugs and smoking are involved its kind of a lost cause as they need addiction services. I just feel like if a family is slipping under social services just make things worse and don't offer help just put more pressure on the family...
Puts them under more pressure to what? Look after their kids?
Maggiesfarm · 20/07/2021 22:01

When did you stop being friends with them/the children's mother?

MissMissTorrance · 20/07/2021 22:07

Are you really concerned about these children or have you only recently become 'concerned' since falling out with your pal?

Original poster
Anon13l · 20/07/2021 23:06

@MissMissTorrance

Are you really concerned about these children or have you only recently become 'concerned' since falling out with your pal?
I didn't fall out with her?? Just distanced myself from her actually
OP posts:
Realisticmum · 02/10/2021 04:15

If you have a genuine care concern then utilising welfare checks from police and speaking to child protection would be your best bet.

While messy houses and food on the ground are concerning and could be considered neglect, you have to also take other things into consideration like DV, mental illness etc. I believe maybe the fact you WERE friends with this person could be influencing your ability to think about the full picture.

These people may just need support that they currently do not have and that is something that child protection can arrange for them. Not everyone who doesn't clean regularly is intentionally neglectful and the kids are old enough to do chores as well.

It sounds like this family needs support and if your in a position to actually start that process then just call child protection.

Sometimes people also don't realise how bad it is until an outside source tell them.

Peaplant20 · 02/10/2021 11:44

Please call social services ASAP. Don’t assume school have picked up on it as everyone assuming someone else has picked up on it is literally exactly how these things get missed :( . If it’s nothing then you’ve done no harm but if it’s neglect and you don’t do anything it could have serious consequences.

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/10/2021 11:46

Yes, it’s neglect. Definitely report to social services.

Peaplant20 · 02/10/2021 11:47

Why is everyone commenting about how the OP knows the children or whether or not this constitutes neglect? The children are the priority here. As someone who is safeguard trained, that’s not for us to judge. Yes it might just be a messy house but social services would rather received 1000 false alarms than miss a case of neglect.

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