Just so fucking tired

[Pigeonorcoot]

No point to this really. Not asking for advice. 11month old hasn't slept well since she was 3 months old. Usually 2 hour wake ups. Occasional bouts of 4/5/6 hour stretches but we can never keep it going. ALWAYS wakes within 1 or 2 sleep cycles of being put down so I never have an evening to myself.

We've employed a sleep consultant to look at her wake windows etc (she tailors it to each child rather than gives a set routine) but as soon as we started baby had a tooth coming through so we paused the work with her. Now she's got a cold. And in 2 weeks time she'll be starting nursery nursery 3 days a week which will mess up her sleep even more.

Urg. Just feel like shit.

Hang on in there. It does get better, I promise. DC are older now. I promise that you will get your evenings back and also even uninterrupted periods of nighttime sleep too.

When it was very bad DH and I used to alternate nights. That way the one who’s not ‘on duty’ knows they can properly get some deep sleep.

Thank you @CityDweller. DP is disabled and can't do nights. It's not his fault at all but I can't help but feel resentful sometimes

Ah gosh, then doubly hard for you. My mantra was always ‘do what you need to do to maximise everyone’s sleep’. For us that meant co-sleeping for a while.

Also, when mine did start sleeping through it was all of a sudden - as in one night they just started doing it and then did it quite reliably from that point on. So don’t give up hope that better sleep may be around the corner. Also mine started sleeping better at night once they started in childcare.

Hang in there. It will get better.

Are you breastfeeding? My DD stopped night wakings immediately when we night weaned at around 12 months.

Before that, she'd start the night in her own bed but after a few wakings she would end up sleeping between us (as safely as possible, so pull duvet down, move pillows away etc.). At least that way I got a little sleep! I didn't do it when she was tiny but it was fairly common after about 6 months.

@PlantDoctor yeah, combi feeding and BFing her back to sleep at night. It's a catch 22 as it's the only way she'll reliably go down 🙄

I feel like I might be accused of being on commission because I recommend this book so often, but have you tried following Lucy Wolfe’s ‘the baby sleep solution’? Within a two weeks it took us from feeding to sleep every time and multiple night wakes to my son falling asleep in his cot and sleeping mostly through. It doesn’t involve any cry it out / controlled crying and is really gentle. It honestly saved my sanity, I was on my knees before.

yup.

hugs

Feel for you my friend. We have been there. No advice, just big hugs, a virtual strong coffee and promise that it’ll get back with time

I had the same problem OP, but it only took one really rough night and one somewhat problematic night for her to sleep through reliably. We night weaned at the same time as gentle sleep training using the disappearing chair method, which was recommended by our HV.

No real advice , just to say I've been there! Keep going as you're doing amazingly!

My daughter wouldn't accept a dummy and used me instead ALL.THE.TIME!!. Not even joking how much I had my top up purely for emotional comfort. I would also combi feed formula too when I just wanted my boob back in my top and it would come out again for naps and bedtime to get her off to sleep!I constantly fretted for the entire first year of her life about making bad habits and visioned her being 40 and still breastfeeding to sleep lol
She stopped naturally on her own at 1 and is now 2.5 snd is an utter joy to be around (but super needy and emotional so I now understand why she needed that comfort and reassurance so much as it's just in her nature to need comfort!)

It's for this reason that I can't even begin to Imagine having a second child yet! I would like to be out of the toddler stage properly before going back into the the first year of life again!