Advice on parenting a tween with mental health problems

[ElfinsMum]

Anyone like to share how they survive/thrive parenting a child with mental health issues?

DD1 (10) has anxiety - looks likely it will be diagnosed as OCD soon - and today (school holidays here, not UK) we are not having a good day. She shouts, she shoves, she cries, she slams doors, she hides in her room. Half of me wants to fill all her time with activities and entertainment to distract her...but the other half doesn't want to reward the bad behaviour. Meanwhile, her two younger siblings are caught in the crossfire and hating every minute of it.

Looking for a Mumsnet masterclass please

A couple of things- if your daughter is anxious and probably going to be diagnosed with OCD, try not to label how she is acting as “bad behaviour”. Mental health problems are difficult enough as adults and for children it can be very isolating, confusing and overall frustrating that they can’t seem to get on in the way they think that others can and can’t articulate how they’re feeling. A lot of the behaviour you list sounds like frustration to me, slamming doors etc. Try to remember the facts- that she is a child who is struggling, and that judgemental language or thoughts won’t help you, her or your wider family.

On a more positive note, I do think trying to find activities that she enjoys is a good idea- using her brain to learn new skills, enjoying herself, hopefully increasing her self confidence and resilience can only be good things. Giving her some space as well.