Single mum to a newborn - needing advice!

[Senja]

Hello all,

Long story short I am in need of some advice as a new single mum to my baby who is now 5 months. We moved out of my ex fiances property and am staying between my parents.

He is saying he wishes to have her half the time once I stop breastfeeding, which my instinct at the moment says no. She only knows me and being her mother is so much more than just breastfeeding! According to solicitors unless i can prove he is being unreasonable, there is not a lot I can do as he is named on the birth certificate. Does anyone have any advice on how they managed to negotiate access in their favour?

I am trying to figure out housing - at present i have too much savings to get benefits, but not enough to buy anywhere. i have a dog so renting will be near impossible, as will paying for the monthly rent (unless i rinse my savings, which means even less likely of buying a house in future).
Her father is willing to pay the minimum child maintenance - but as i'm sure you all know this is nothing and wont help me pay the bills - he also doesn't declare all cash income to HMRC. Any advice on how I can dispute? Has anyone found any legal route for getting an ex to contribute towards living, if you were not married?

I also believe his behaviour is psychological abuse and gaslighting, without going into details, but essentially lieing about events and making out the breakdown of our relationship is all my fault. Does anyone have experience of this sort of 'abuse', and how they worked it in their favour with regards to access and responsibility for the child?

Does anyone have any information about the free 2 year childcare? Is this covered regardless of days/hours? As long as you earn under a certain amount?

So many questions! Thanks in advance for any advice x

Keep breastfeeding. Generally over nights are recommended after the age of 2.

Not a popular opinion but can you give the dog away? If not your going to have to find some where to rent. Where are you living at the moment?

If you were not married the all you will get from your ex is child maintenance. The more nights he had the little one for the less maintenance he will pay.

As long as he is not abusive to the child it is considered to be in the child’s best interests to have a relationship with their father.

www.gov.uk/help-with-childcare-costs/free-childcare-2-year-olds

A judge won't order overnights with a bf baby; this includes over 6m as it will still be their primary source of nutrition.

You should move the dog on; it's making it hard for you to rent, they are expensive when you're skint and everyone wants one ATM so it will be easy re-home.

Put in a claim for child maintenance now; he still has to pay even if you are at your parents. If you can stay there medium term do that while you try to get a decently paid job.