I’m on my knees - do we need a sleep consultant? Or what?

[Dollywilde]

11 month old DD has always been a bit of a crap sleeper but we’ve happily done cosleeping when we need to. Generally would do 7.30pm - 6ish but with a wake at one point, usually 3ish, where she’d come in with us.

She’s now taken to stirring at between 4.30am - 5am and when she does she’s up for the day. Her naps have also gone to shit so she’s doing 45m at 9.30 and 45m at 2pm and that’s it. DH is back in the office mostly so it’s 15 hours with an active (walking) baby and I’m struggling to cope. She throws tantrums if I’m not actively with her and I’m exhausted. Back at work next month but due to childcare issues she’s not starting nursery until the month after and we’ve got family/friends pitching in to cover the month.

Would a sleep consultant be able to get her sleeping til 6 again or am I just throwing money at the problem because I’m desperate? It’s taken me nearly an hour to type this, I want to cry.

You may need to do abit of sleep training. I have similar age baby and that is what got him sleeping through fairly quickly. Not sure you need a constant to do that. Also if he has woken up at 5.30 and in the night, I would expect she needs a nap before 9.30 . She may be overtired making her not nap as long and wake up more in the night.

I had the same thing for months, I just went to bed earlier and she grew out of it. Now I have to wake her up to get ready as she'd rather lay in and she's only two haha. I went back to work when she was 9 months, still Co sleeping now as I love it!

Friends have had good success with a sleep consultant and with the Little Ones sleep program.

My eldest was up for the day by 5 for years unfortunately. I was in bed by 9 every night to cope with it.

It does sound like it’s your problem not hers, she is sleeping quite well. Mine had dropped naps by this stage

You won’t change what she is doing naturally, so change how you deal with it.

Go to bed earlier, plant to use a Gro clock, etc.

Look forward to getting your own back in the teenage years

Early waking is the devil to crack. But a common cause is actually over tiredness. I would focus on improving your daytime routine to see where that gets you. I agree with pp first nap is too late if the day is starting at 5. Check out what the wake time should be at that age for a guide. Try an earlier nap. See if that makes it longer on its own. If not then do whatever you have to do to extend the nap. Movement? On the back of that the second nap will need to be earlier, and so will bedtime. Babies usually do well with a 12hr day / 12hr night split so bedtime could be 5:30 - not joking! When you're on an even keel you can look to slowly push the times back to something that works better for you.

The advice I have shared here was all given to me by a sleep consultant! My 2 kids have both been pita with their sleep. They are 6 and 4 now 4yo is still up before 6am mind...

I've heard good things about the huckleberry app mentioned on here. It didn't exist to help me 4yrs ago!

Sorry if I’m pointing out the obvious but do you have a blackout blind?

So if morning is 5am, I'd go with that for now. 1st nap 8am say 2 sleep cycles so up at 9:30. 2nd nap 3.5hrs later max so 1pm until 2:30. Bedtime 6pm. As in, in bed asleep by.

You might be able to nudge things a little when settled into this routine.

Can you post her full routine including meals and milk and bedtime routine?

My DD is the same age and gets up at 5, maybe 5.30 but she stirs and cries in her sleep from 4am onwards. I thought it was normal to wake that early tbh! I go to bed at 9 and DP and I do alternate mornings getting up with her, would your DH do similar? Sympathies, I know how tough it is having so many hours to entertain a baby on little sleep. Hopefully its just a phase though.

We had this too and when he got to about 15mo he settled down to one long nap in the late morning/lunchtime and started sleeping through to 6-7am.

Like PP I just used to go to bed early to get enough sleep, it was hard going.

Agree that going to bed early yourself is key. That’s how I managed with some challenging sleep phases. This too will pass. Good luck