8 week baby and struggling a lot

[Lgw20]

Looking for some support or words of encouragement as I’m struggling big time right now…

Little man is approaching 8 weeks and has become so fussy. He is crying most of the day unless kept entertained, he cries when I put him down, he won’t fall asleep unless on me or being rocked and when I put him down he may only last 10-20 mins.

Feeding is tough, he is so fussy and crying during it and I wind him… use coleif, dr browns… you name it!

He also cries and kicks legs when trying to fart / poo.

I know he’s going through leap 2 atm and he has colic. I’ve Been in tears all day as it’s so hard and I have no life and don’t want to go out because he just cries the whole time.

Also he will only stop crying if I pick him up but don’t want to encourage bad Habbits.

But just please someone tells me this gets better or give me some advice xx

Sounds really tough. Has been seen for possible reflux/silent reflux or a milk allergy?

It's not bad habits to pick up your crying baby so don't worry about that. You could probably both do with a big hug.

It does get better and there are no such thing as 'bad habits' at that age. I held mine either in a sling or in my arms for the first 4 months at least.

If he's crying and he stops when you pick him up, then he has communicated his needs and you have responded appropriately - that is good parenting.

He is still tiny at 8 weeks, only just out of the womb and very much still a part of you. These early weeks are brutal but do whatever you can to survive and it will get better soon. For me, I saw an improvement at the 3-4 months stage. I know that must feel like a long time to wait, but you're more than half way there already.

Ah yes - the 8 week mark is bloody hard work! Both of mine were the fussiest little buggers at this age and with both this was the only stage I ever considered giving up breastfeeding because feeds were such a nightmare I thought they didn't like my milk! It does calm down though. Lots of cuddles, winding and just know you're doing nothing wrong. This too shall pass.

There’s no such thing as bad habits in a newborn. Hold your baby as much as they need. Have you tried a sling?

Leaps pass, and you’ll cope with them all. Get outside regardless of the crying. It will help you, honestly!

This is not your life forever, every week will bring new things, some hard and some amazing. Hang in there!

Mine napped on me for 10 months and I can assure you there is no bad habit in sight! Newborns love being held and it's important for their brain development/ feeling secure. You can't overdo it. Hang in there, it gets better

I have a seven week old fosterling and she is exactly the same but rest assured, the one thing you won't do by picking him up is develop bad habits. It's a stage, and it will pass.

It probably doesn't feel like it right now but one day you'll miss him napping on you. Everything you describe is so normal. Google the Fourth Trimester. It's a period of big change for both of you but you'll get there!

It's really hard OP. But he's just a tiny little creature who wants to snuggle into you. No such thing as bad habits at that age.

Going out is always a good idea, have him in the sling if it soothes him. Use headphones or ear plugs to take the edge off the crying.

It's horrendous but often you're just waiting for their digestive systems to grow so every little bubble of wind doesn't hurt so much. It'll happen, you're not doing anything wrong, you just need to get from day to day.

Dd was a bit colicky and I found singing helped a lot - not so much for her as for me, it made me breathe more deeply and it kind of broke up the time so it wasn't just an endless stretch of time pacing with a screaming baby. You have limited scope to change what's happening with the baby, do what you can to relax yourself.

FTM here and I can sympathise with how you feel.
When my LO was around the 7 week mark I struggled also, mainly with my emotions.
She was so content the first 6/7 weeks and then all of sudden I had this crying baby, I knew she wasn't poorly etc but at the time I didn't realise she was going through a leap which explained alot.
My niece had then recommended the wonder weeks app to me so I was aware when these leaps would occur.
I had the occasional down days (not all the time) from this point then til she was about 4.5 months old.
I think this was when I really settled into being a new mum, it was hard especially being in lockdown and not being able to see people!
But I agree with others, if you can, go out for an hours walk, this done me the world of good at the time as it broke my day up and got me outside in the fresh air.
Holding your baby won't cause bad habits, enjoy those snuggles ❤
Do you speak to your partner/someone close to you? Another thing i felt that helped me on those down days was talking to my husband and telling him how I felt rather than keeping it to myself.
I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment but it really will get better! Give it time and you will soon realise that its not as hard as it once was xx

Hi, it really will get better!! I found 8-10 weeks really tough... I think adrenaline keeps you going for the first few weeks of having a newborn, and it's a novelty. But when that wears off and reality hits, it's tough, especially if you have a fussy baby.

My DS is 7 months and we've had some tough spells like you're describing, but they pass, and you get some equally wonderful phases!!

My experience was very similar to yours at this stage. It’s really really hard, but you have got this. As others have said I don’t think there are any bad habits - I basically wore my baby in a sling from 2-5 months as she was so fussy. Now at 6 months she likes to be in her jumperoo or on her mat or in her high chair just playing with toys. She’s an absolute dream and I love her to bits. When they start developing motor skills they become interested in pursuing them alone I think which gives you a little break. I know this will feel an age away for you but it is going to be here before you know it - if you can try and embrace the contact naps and baby wearing for now as I often found trying to put my daughter down and it failing made me more frustrated than just going with her it x

Hi @Lgw20
This sounds exactly like my 8 week baby now and she's been like it for last 2 weeks. She was prescribed gaviscon for reflux but she stopped feeding because she hated the taste so now on prescribed formula lactose free aptamil. I don't know yet if that's helping. Did it get any easier for you and do you have any tips? Thanks

@rg29811

Hi *@Lgw20* This sounds exactly like my 8 week baby now and she's been like it for last 2 weeks. She was prescribed gaviscon for reflux but she stopped feeding because she hated the taste so now on prescribed formula lactose free aptamil. I don't know yet if that's helping. Did it get any easier for you and do you have any tips? Thanks

It’s incredibly rare for babies to be allergic to lactose and tends to occur when their is a family history of it but CMPA is much more common.