Summer Holidays

[Kent10]

Hi

First time on here so be gentle.

We have 3 kids, School holidays approaching and my Wife as she does every year has started to stress.

We really differ on our approach to school holidays, where I’m ok with a week away and then maybe an ad hoc day trip or 2 and the rest of the time the kids are free to play in the garden home and so on.

My wife on the other hand feels like she’s a Failure if shes not interacting with the kids nearly everyday.. she starts to feel guilty and this causes all sorts of arguments as she says I don’t care and I tell her she needs to just let them play on their own.

We both work full time and both working at home now due to Covid..

Kids are 7-9-12
My wife’s trying to plan day trips, park visits for nearly everyday? I think that’s to much?

How often do others take their children out?

Any advise would be great cheers.

We go away for two weeks and a mixture of other things. We go to the park every day as the dog needs to be walked.

They'll probably go swimming, to the cinema, see family but it's certainly not every day, they need some down time and to learn how to occupy themselves too. Is she taking AL for the whole summer?

The wife’s Taking 2 weeks holiday and wants me to commit to some other days. I don’t get much holiday and try to save it for Christmas..

We have a week away planned..

I do think it’s an important life skill learning to occupy themselves. We have had many conversations about this. Where I give the kids ideas of things and games they can play and start them off them leave them to it. My wife tends to interact more..

Can you book them into some holiday clubs on a couple of days so they're doing something but not having to be 'entertained' by their parents?

Might be a good compromise for you and your wife. And leave you free to get on with some work if you are wfh.

I think it’s too much to ask a 7 year old to occupy themselves for 4 weeks and have little social interaction. Left to their own devices in the house they are very unlikely to get much exercise. Most people put their kids into sports camps.

While I think kids can amuse themselves, five weeks of amusing themselves is a lot to expect. I also think family days out are important. Doesnt have to cost a lot. I can see why your wife wants to do this and include you in some.

While it is nice to have a week off at Christmas, I prefer to spend the rest of my annual leave when the weather is better and we can get out as a family.

What do you all normally do?

Mix of 2 separate weeks away, 2 weeks in summer camp and some time with grandparents.

When they’re at home I’ll give them some down time, I don’t think my kids get enough down time - everything is over stimulating these days IMO. So some time in the garden/park/reading/iPads is alright by me.

That sounds exhausting for everyone. Why does your DW feel the need to do things every day? Is she in a particularly competitive friendship group? We do something once a week in the holidays typically, either a day out of a playdate with another family, 1-2 weeks holiday and a few days with my DPs. Competitive parenting is not my style though!

If you are working, you shouldn't be planning days out, you should be working. We both work (I have Fridays off at the moment though). At this point, the only days out we may have are on weekends or on some Fridays (some days they'll just play) and on holiday. If we are working, which we are at least 4 days every week, they are in holiday club/nursery, except for Monday, when eldest is home and needs to entertain herself all day (holiday club is closed on Mondays).

At the moment, I have no days out planned at all for the summer, don't even have any planned for when we are on holiday (which is 2 1-week periods), though will eventually plan something for holidays. I can't be asked and am too busy with work, so it's nearly all very ad hoc, going to the beach, going for walks, going to the playground.

We both work full time and here's how our summer holidays is stacking up (our children are 8 and 5).
2 x weeks annual leave in one chunk -both.of us together as we're going on holiday
The remaining 4 weeks consist of a variety of things scattered about. It's approximately 5 days them going to visit grandparents, the a further 8 days or so of sports/holiday camp and then my DH and I have taken a further 3 days off scattered here and then for a day trip and then that leaves not much left so they can be at home or I'll try and schedule a playdate or something.