Attachment to holding hand to sleep

[NML2000]

Hi everyone new here. I have a 19 month old daughter, and she still wakes a fair few times on a night, only ever slept though maybe a handful of times in her life. To go to sleep she needs me there and she holds my hand messes with my fingers, and does this for comfort to chill watching tv but she’s even now getting upset in the car if she’s tired wants to hold my hand. I’ve tried teddies, blankets, to get her into something else but she just chucks them.
She’s now taking half an hour or more to go to sleep and I can’t go anywhere because she wants my hand. Anyone else had any issues like this and what helped? She gets very upset when she’s upset so any cry it out won’t work with her she gets in such a state

You’ll need to build up an new association instead. It will take lots of consistent, repetitive work.

I would start with a comforter - something she can twist in her hands would probably be best. Give her a few nights of having that as well as your hand. Keep putting it in her hand etc while she’s holding yours.

Once she’s used to that, start removing your hand for short periods while settling her. You can gradually make these longer over time.

Hopefully in time she will then rely on the comforter rather than your hand.

Thank you for your reply, I’ll give it a go with using things with my hands for now too. She’s a few comforters, I ask her if she wants to pick her own to take to bed or if she wants to take a teddy and she always picks one but doesn’t keep it in bed 😅

Still here with 5yo !