Single parent

[Singleparenttotwins]

Hi. I feel so lost and looking for support.
I am a lesbian and started the long journey of having a child in 2016/2017 with my long term partner of 12 years. The further we went through the journey, it became more apparent that it was not going to work with us (I think the thought of children scared the life out of her but she went along with it). Before getting pregnant we split up. After already starting the long and difficult journey of pregnancy, I continued it in hope that I would fall pregnant. As a single person, this also meant that I now had to pay for all treatment.
I started seeing another girl who I had known for a while and who was much younger than me. And I feel pregnant and had twins in 2018. She has been an absolute rock to me and the twins but we have been met with nothing but barriers due to the age difference.
The twins are almost 3 and the hardest they have ever been. I have been so tired in the evenings (juggling the twins and a full time job) and have been falling asleep most nights about 9.30/10pm. My partner has just told me that she can’t do it anymore and has left us. She expressed how it is so routine just now and she can’t just lie beside me each night as I sleep. I’m devastated at losing her and the thought of being alone with the twins. I genuinely don’t know how I can do this alone.
I’m feeling so lost and scared at the prospect of doing this everyday alone.

Hi OP. You sound like your doing a great job. Keep on pushing. Could you reduce your hours at all? It's totally normal to fall asleep by 10pm with you working full time and still having pre school children .

Dating tends to be rubbish when your a mum sometimes! But I'm sure you will meet someone when the times right.

Hi OP.

I'm a lone parent to a 6 year old boy. I also work full time, and am also asleep by 10pm most nights, you are not alone in this. 🤣

All I can say is you can and will do this, some days will be rough, some will be a delight, but just take them as they come. Some days I go to bed and say to myself "well we're both still alive, so yeah it's been a good day" because that's the only positive I can draw from it. But other days I revel in the close bond we have, how together we are as a little unit and the joy of not having to compromise or ask anyone else for their opinion. It really is swings and roundabouts.

But honestly, you will do this I promise you.

Op I was a single parent to 2 kids older than yours. And one of them was much older, I was asleep by 9pm.

You can do it, you just have to take one day at a time. It's difficult at first but one day, you will realise that you are doing it and you are all OK.

It will be ok.

People always used to say to me "I don't know how you do it and keep it all together" and my response was "what is the alternative?"

OP you can definitely do it - you just need to dig deep. This (tough time) too shall pass.

You definitely can do it.
I was a single mum by choice for 10 years, and it gets so much easier as the kids grow up.

I know it feels like Groundhog Day at the moment, and you feel alone, but this isn’t all there is to life.

You’ll find a lovely woman who will embrace you and your kids.

PS- I have 17 and 21 year olds now and I’m still in bed by 10pm! My hubby is too.

OP I hadnt met someone to spend my life with and did iui to have my DS. He is 2 years and 9 months so a similar age to your twins. Some days are amazing but others feel very long and hard going. I long for the chance to have a lie in or just simply pop to the shops on my own but like you I work full time although I'm term time only so have the summer hols coming up. If I am to function at work and deal with the teenagers all day I have to be in bed by 10pm too. However, I look forward a to the days when myself and DS have an amazing day. Having twins must be doubly hard so I take my hat off to you for that. No one seems to understand what it is like being a single parent to young children so if you need to chat anytime please message me.