5 year old boy - does this sound familiar?

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Tell me all about your 5 year olds, boys or girls (I have a boy).

He is 5.5 and IMO can be such a brat sometimes, always wanting his own way. I know he is 5, but it always feels like it’s him being difficult.

To give an example, we’ve had a really busy weekend of hosting at our house 3 days in a row, including friends and their children of varying ages and separately, DH’s family including cousins of similar age.

One of the cousins is the same age as DS, they haven’t seen each other since they were little babies. I’m trying to go easy on DS in my head as I appreciate he’d had a busy weekend of hosting others at our house already, plus it’s his “turf” (I’m sure children tend to behave better at others’ houses than their own) but as mentioned above it always feels like when there’s a group of kids, he is the one being a pain. He wants to play his specific games and isn’t keen on doing what others tell him once he’s decided. He seems to get bored quickly (again appreciate he was in his own environment, whereas other kids’ toys are way more exciting) and start attention seeking.

It’s not always the case as I’ve seen him with other friends and he’s gone along with their games happily - so I’m wondering if it was a “turf” thing, wanting his cousin to play his games because they were at HIS house?

This weekend aside, DS is going through a phase of constantly winding up younger DS (2), and what feels like deliberately trying to annoy DH and I (and DS). Poking, silly noises, shouting, not doing what he’s asked.

At school he is well behaved overall as far as I know (coming to the end of reception) but he makes silly noises at carpet time often and always has to be told to stop. He also never looks like he is listening, but apparently is as he knows the answer and can follow the instructions. He’s not aggressive to other children though, ever, and other than the silliness/distracted behaviour which was raised at a parents’ evening in May, we never get kept aside to be told about behaviour so I take no news as good news.

Does any of this sound familiar to those of you with 5 year olds? In a nutshell, silly noises, loud, deliberately being annoying, bossiness/stroppiness?

My 5 year old DS is not like this, but my dd was at that age and my other dd (3) looks set for the same path . On a positive note my oldest dd has improved massively. She is nearly 8 now.

P. S. Actually, there are bits I recognise for my DS too, mainly the not appearing to be listening!

I think a lot of it is attention seeking and it still surprises me how much attention kids need.

It can feel a bit exhausting but if you can praise every single thing they do well it really helps.

‘You came in so quietly and nicely!’

‘You sit so well at the table, ds2 is watching and learning. Thank you.’

‘I’m really impressed with how well you played on your own.’

OK sometimes it starts to feel a bit knackering but it makes an amazing difference.

This doesn't sound anything like my 5yo DS but it's personality and maturity as well.

My DS is generally quite easy going with others and happy to go with the flow but also likes to know the rules and stick to them and for others to stick to them. It's just his personality - he's a mini DH. He has his moments though and sometimes can be physically frustrated with us and others, cheeky and rude at times, greedy, and self centred. My DD is totally different, much more highly strung, bossy and emotional but very thoughtful and a people pleaser.

I don't think there's much for it except to carry on with strong boundaries, enforcing rules, reminding him who is in charge, and supporting him manage his behaviour. He'll come out the other side of this phase and into another one soon enough! Until then, there's wine...

Thanks all, this does feel like a tricky phase which I hope passes! I probably should praise him more, DH and I are always saying we’re too hard on him but then he acts up when other people are around with better behaved kids and then it feels like we must be too soft on him if he’s the one not behaving?!