Introducing new sibling to toddler?

[wjg65ka]

How did your 22 month old accept their new sibling?

I'm due in early august, DS has been in nursery since he was 11 months so he's been around children for a long time. He's also got a cousin who is 6 months older, he is very protective of her and plays well with her.

However, any talk of a brother and he just says no. Nursery have babies as young as 3 months and say when he has come in to contact with them he's been really gentle and sweet.

Was it a smooth transition or should I be doing more? We have the Moses basket in the lounge and the cot has been in our bedroom for a while, we wanted him familiar with the environment for a while.

I'm also struggling with guilt as I have only been granted 4 weeks leave from uni. Luckily, thanks to me still being on the books of my former job DH has secured 4.5 months maternity leave. So he will be with both kids. I'll be having a csection so I'll be out of action in terms of playing physically with DS1 for a while, I'm worried all the change will effect him

Any advice or experiences to share?

It will be fine. He might not like the idea of a brother now but when reality happens he will realise it is nice.

I would buy a toy from the baby to help him be happy about it. Also generally visitors are very good at making a fuss of older siblings to make sure they don't feel left out.

Loads of books to help with this. We used Pirate Pete becomes a big brother.

We did nothing for preparation. He was 26 months when baby was born. He's had too much attention, but luckily baby was easy baby. They're 16 months and almost 3.5 now

I think toddlers have a hard time imagining stuff when it's just a concept if that makes sense, I'm sure he will feel differently when they arrive. I only have one child, but a lot of my friends have multiple, and have found that books as a PP suggested are good, and also a gift from sibling when they arrive. A lot did find they pushed boundaries a bit possibly as a way of dealing with the changes and for reassurance as attention is now divided, but I'm sure you'll find your groove.

As a previous poster said, we got a toy from baby for our DS for when they first met and also he chose a cuddly to give to baby.
There are several stories about new babies to share.
We spent a LOT of time in the first few months saying how much she loved him, was smiling at him, laughing at him etc. He'd give her a kiss and we'd go on about how how much she loved it, he was the best big brother etc
He'd do finger rhymes with her, sing her songs, help paint her hands and feet to do prints etc
They've always been really close and I put it down to that. A real effort to 'big him up' and for him to think it was fun to have a baby sister.
Good luck!

It will take a little while to realise that baby can't be sent back.

The important thing is to make sure you still have time for toddler. Snuggles on the sofa for example, reading a book or watching TV.

Buy the toddler a present from the new baby... and get a present for the toddler to give to the baby!

Its a lovely age gap.

Just talk about the baby and show off the baby’s things and stories. There is only so much they can take in. Most siblings I’ve known have really taken well at that age and very protective though of course always exceptions! Once the baby arrives they just get on with it and don’t remember anything different. Good luck !

I would just talk about the baby in your tummy, and show him.
DS1 met DS2 said "hello Baby", and asked me to read him a story.
Baby won't be that interesting for him to start with but I am sure they will get on great.

We had our second son in March this year when my older son was 21 months. I didn't do anything in preparation. Other than, as you said, get the baby cot out and visible. We also changed the buggy back to the bassinet and got my son to practice using the buggy board.
When we brought baby home from hospital I made a huge effort to dote on my older son for the first month or so. I practically ignored the baby when he was in the room (which was easy as baby slept lots). Then I gradually let him see me give more attention to the baby.
I think as soon as my son realised the baby wasn't going back, which was around 2 weeks after bringing him home from hospital, he had a massive sleep regression and basically cried all night for a week. Eventually I had to sleep train again. I've heard that that is common.
He's fine now and is nice enough to the baby but I can see he gets jealous sometimes. In the long run I know they will have a great time growing up together.