Leaving a bad nursery. Now: Childminder or nursery?

[TwoYearsMarried]

My 11month old is currently in a nursery and has been there since her was 8m. I had to go back to work 2 months sooner than anticipated so we had to go with whatever was available. I didn't really want to send him to the one he's at but they're the largest (a chain in the area we're based) and so had enough staff etc. That said, compared to the nursery my eldest went to a year ago (now isn't possible to send son there as we've moved) the current place is abysmal.

No consistency of staff. Very, VERY brief verbal handover when they hand over end of day. He's come out three times with either a bruise on his head or scratch and no explanation. The scratch at not bothered about but the forehead bruise? When I asked the next day at pick up they said they didn't know and would get back to me by Monday. No one got back to me by Monday.

He currently sleeps 2 hours a day, no milk during the day. Yet they still give him milk and come out saying "he slept for a whole hour today!" like that's a good thing. We've not had one bit of craft and not one photo of him there since he started in March.

So I am moving him. Few questions:

• would you accept and live out the 4 weeks' notice without kicking up a fuss or would you tell them your concerns and just immediately go, refusing to pay the 4 week notice?

• locally there is a lovely childminder available. She had my daughter a couple of times and she's lovely. Just her setting is small, 5-6 kids, my son would be the youngest. When I took my daughter there there was just 1 other child in that day. Was very homely and it felt like leaving the kids with my mum (very home from home) but it didn't feel v buzzy. Possibly less structure etc.

• a local nursery. This one is good and come off recommendation. This was my no1 choice but they weren't available back in March but have since taken on more staff so can accommodate from august.

Any info of child minder Vs nursery would be great.

My son is very active, climbs everything (a typical boy), won't sit still. Fights naps. He can be a handful so wondering if that should also impact my decision.

Shameless bump 🙈

I don’t think you can leaving without paying notice, they could take you to court?
Have you raised these concerns with them?

You need to make a formal complaint. Maybe get in touch with OFSTED and raise your concerns, who might then do a snap inspection.

I agree that leaving without paying for the last 4 weeks would be very tricky. You could end up with a CCJ and bailiffs at your house. If it was me I would complain to OFSTED, pay the last month and move him to either the nursery or CM. They both sound better than where he is currently.

I have zero experience of child care primarily as juggled via shifts with DP. However I have always thought if I had to use childcare I would opt for a childminder until 3 and then nursery. I just think under 3 it's so much nicer to have that relationship with 1 other adult rather than a lot and just more homely.

Have you visited this childminder with all the other kids there? What age are they all?

Both sound good. For me the deciding factor was that if a member of nursery staff is I'll it's no biggie but if the CM is I'll it's suddenly a lot more tricky to find cover. I also wanted my son to have children his own age to play with (though my nephew goes to a CM that have a few children around his age and two members of staff which would be my ideal!)

I’m very pro childminder for younger children; it’s an individual choice but I preferred that calmer homely environment for both my DC at the age of 1 then I moved to nurseries at 2.5/3 as I felt that was needed by that age.

We used a childminder initially for similar reasons. It was a nightmare. Like pp said, if her or her child were ill, we’d find out on the morning and it was an awful stress. We ended up swirling to a nursery and have never had any problems.

Just pull him out. It always baffles me when parents complain about how bad a nursery is and injuries and such but then send the child back.

@TwoYearsMarried I pulled my little one out of a nursery and moved her to a childminder. Best thing I could have done for her, she had never settled at the nursery (she was only 6 months and a lockdown baby) and all the photos they provided she was crying. I found a local childminder and she absolutely loves going. I think you need to do what's right for your child but do be aware that childminders are riskier in terms of needing to find last minute cover if they are unwell

We've used both, and as you say it's a question of trade offs. How old is your daughter now, is the childminder potentially providing summer holiday care for her as well a consideration? What are cover arrangements if the childminder is sick?

My DC3 has settled better with a childminder than his older siblings did at nursery. There's definitely much more continuity than there is with a key worker at nursery, where even pre-covid you didn't always get to speak to them with shift patterns, and they change them every time they move up a room. Another short term consideration is they are expecting this winter to be a bad one for illnesses as everyone starts mixing again. You'd expect bugs to be less of a problem at the childminders just because they are less kids - which might mean you having to take less time off work.

Having said that, from age 3 up I'd definitely say the socialisation side matters more and more. My DC2 who starts school in September has been going to the childminder this year too (Covid related) and she's been getting less and less keen. Would moving again to a different setting age 3 ish concern you?

Thank you all so much, really appreciated. I hadn't even considered a potential move at 3 for the year before school start (with which I agree would be needed!). I can't be bothered with all that upheaval in 1.5-2years' time. Also the point about childminder sickness / holidays is a good one and we had a little warning shot this morning when she has let us down for Thursday this week already because she has a medical appointment (eldest was going to go there for an odd day) so already trying to scramble around for alternative care on Thursday! Decision made, a nursery it is!

Your child came out of nursery with a bruise on their head and you’re asking whether you should kick up a fuss? Admittedly I’m quite an anxious person but OMG, I would be fucking livid and extremely worried if that happened to me!