Mum guilt - to stop exclusively pumping!

[gemloving]

I am 10 weeks into exclusively pumping, it's so hard especially when I have the toddler (2 1/2) and baby. The moment the toddler sleeps, I put the pump on trying to entertain baby on my knees and it's relentless. We tried to breastfeed but he lost so much weight, his latch was poor and we ended up in hospital (not because of the weight) but sugar levels (no I didn't have GD) and on day 3, that was the moment I started exclusively pumping. Well the first 2-3 weeks I continued putting him on the boob but then topped up with the expressed milk, booked private lactation consultants, spending lots of money on that as well as pumping equipment etc

I breastfed DS1 for 14 months and have always felt very strongly about wanting to breastfeed but DS2 never took to it as described above and I'm at a breaking point as it's relentless!

This is so stupid but please tell me it's ok to stop, it doesn't make me a bad mother even though my first baby got only breastmilk for so much longer. Crying whilst writing this. I feel so guilty.

I also hated pumping. I am a bf advocate but would never, ever exclusively pump, and honestly I’d never advise anyone else to.

Feeding a baby, whether breast or bottle in so time consuming, and adding in all the pumping there’s no time for anything else.

Move on to formula :)

@JohnnyLuLus @DinosaurDiana @TwilightSkies @Elbie79 @allabitmuch45 Thank you 
@Petrarkanian thank you, I might have a glass of Prosecco today to celebrate how far we've come, to close the chapter and new beginnings ✨

@JessicaPeach you did so well, you should be very very proud of yourself!

@MaMaD1990 I am not sure it's society but I pressure from myself. I know it's not poison - it's brilliant stuff. I mourn my breastfeeding journey, the journey I wanted so badly and all the benefits that come with breastfeeding for mother and baby but I know I will look back and know that stopping is the right decision for me mentally and physically actually.

@Bobbots you know, 6 weeks ago I would have said I'll do a year and I applaud you but yes, I've got to do what's best for me now (and my children really).

@TheTeenageYears how funny, it's true in a way that I really worry about equal treatment and neither of them will even remember. Thank you x

I am going to respond to the rest of you when I get a chance! I will now slowly but surely stop and decrease the pumping times x

Pretty sure exclusive pumping is the same as bottle feeding formula in a lot of studies. There isn't actually many benefits to it. And in fact time spent pumping would be better spent with the baby.

I'll try and find the studies I've read. I remember being surprised but all of them had exclusively pump fed babies coming out the same as formula fed. Unless allergies I can't really see why people do it.

Been there. I felt guilty for ages. I mean probably about 5 years. But I’m over it now. He’s 10, healthy and we have an amazing bond.

Oh my god it’s absolutely ok to stop. Pumping is SUCH a chore. If it’s interfering with your ability to enjoy your baby it’s just not worth it. Please don’t feel bad. You’ve given him a great start and he will her everything he needs from formula

Well done for doing this much. It sounds like now is the right time to stop - soon we will be saying well done for making that decision! It is difficult but right for your family.

Thinking of you @gemloving and hoping you are doing well today. Just wanted to pop back to say no one warned me there would be a hormone crash when I stopped expressing. It was temporarily horrible, then I felt better than I had in months. So if it happens to you, don’t be scared, you aren’t losing your marbles

@Radio4ordie thanks for checking in. I still pump about 450ml a day but has gone down already from 600 although, I had a rock hard boob this morning and know I could have expressed more but choosing to express less to lower my supply.

My mother did say I could take medication but I am sure I'll be fine to do it naturally. I might experience what you're saying later on xx