Normal behaviour or worrying? The mind of a 2 year old...

[AnotherGo]

Hello

My boy has recently turned 2. He is a real sweetie. But there are some behaviours that I don't see in other kids. I just worry that I should be seeking help but then I think I'm overthinking and he's happy. I'll just list them below

1. He doesn't speak. He babbles constantly and is always trying to tell me things but he cannot say words almost at all. He started saying "more" but this now sounds like "ball" *I know he means the same as he's asking for more juice or pushes on the swing. He tried to say "yes" yesterday but he really struggles and he gets embarrassed and runs away.

1. He drinks and eats constantly. He is always asking for more of everything. Sometimes he rams so much in his mouth he has to spit it all out again.

1. He is crazy affectionate to strangers. Yesterday he clung to the leg of the plumber. He often cuddles parents in the playground.

1. He licks all his toys.

1. He tries his hardest but he really struggles with a spoon or open cup still. He just let's everything fall off onto the floor and it hasn't improved for months

Urm. That's probably enough. I feel upset writing all that down. Am I being a horrible mother wondering why he isn't grasping stuff yet or would it be bad of me to not act on this? Nothing is getting any better. He seems like a baby in many ways and just likes cuddles and naps which I love him for but I worry about his development

Any words of wisdom? Xx

Have you had any contact from health visitors or looked at the development checklists they use? They are all accessible online: they're called ages and stages questionnaires. This is the 24-month one: www.iow.nhs.uk/Downloads/Health%20Visiting_School%20Nursing/ASQ-3%2024%20Month.pdf

If you're worried, I would contact your health visitor and ask for their advice.

Have you spoken to a professional, your health visitor for example, about this?

People who have two year olds are better placed to advise you here today than I am, but I do think I'd want to talk to someone experienced in child development. You're obviously worried, and that's the time to seek help.

I have no idea or words of wisdom but I an pretty certain that you are not a horrible mother.

Have a hug and some .

Hope other MNers will be more helpful

As to your question, you definitely aren't a horrible mother and yes, in your shoes I think I would be seeking some advice as he does seem to be a little behind in some areas and might need some support. There's nothing to lose from at least making some enquiries with your health visitor or GP.

You are not being a horrible mother - if you were you wouldn't worry about anything!

Children develop at all different rates so it isn't a good idea to compare him to other children. What I would suggest is you take this list of your concerns and speak to your health visitor or doctor.

The speech thing is exactly like my DS, he has also just turned 2. He can say words he just won't. I rang my health visitor about it but she didn't seem bothered! Apparently they used to do a 2 year assessment but now it's a 27 month assessment because most catch up in those 3 months.
Food and drink may be because of a growth spurt? I feel the others are mostly just personality as I've never heard of those being symptoms of any underlying problem. My DS also still spills with an open cup. He can use a spoon but always turns it upside down at the last minute! I assume because the shape of the spoon then fits the tongue nicely, not great when the food ends up down him though 🙈
Call your health visitor if you are worried but no, you're not a horrible mum, you are a normal mum who just wants the best for her baby 🙂💐

My two year old didn't really talk much until he went up a room at nursery. Then after a week in the new room he just started talking in sentences. It was very much environmental for him. I taught him a bit of Makaton during the first lockdown to help him express himself (but also because the pointing and going uh uuuuhhhh when he wanted something was driving me nuts).

I also agree that the eating everything in sight is probably growth spurt related.

Modelling and applause helped with the cup and spoon for us. I don't have a cuddly one, but my sister's little girl is exactly as you describe. And my biggest challenge is keeping the dog toys out of his mouth. I remember just before he was two going for a walk round the marina in the freezing cold and he licked every bollard we went past

But honestly if you personally are worried then talk to someone. You don't say if he's in nursery yet, if he is that's a great place to start in terms of developmental norms and if he's not maybe a few mornings a week might help if you can afford it.

Thanks so much for reassurance. He started nursery when he was 20 months (so 5 months ago) and i thought that would change things but it hasn't really. Nursery say he does try to say things but doesn't seem to retain the word once he's attempted it.

I think i feel so guilty as my OH is a key worker during pandemic so it was just me and my baby in a small flat with no outside space during lockdowns and I tried to keep him entertained but he didn't want to do any activities and there was definitely too much TV watched during the day. He is happiest outside running around and was a very early walker etc. But I worry days of cartoons has had an effect

Not to alarm you, but he sounds like my DS at that age. He’s now 3.5, and has speech delay.

The food was just a growth spurt for my son.

He sound perfectly normal, but if you’re worried have a chat with your HV. Mine got me in touch with book start, which set the ball rolling for speech therapy and additional help although we had to wait for his 27 month check.

With the speech, just keep talking and talking with him. If he’s trying to say something, like ball, say ball then wait 20 seconds to see if he’ll say it again, then give stacks of praise. It can be helpful to use a cuddly toy so he can speak for the toy if he’s shy (like my ds).

You’re not a horrible mum, the fact you’re asking makes you a great mum!

My DD is almost 2. There’s a huge range of normal but he does sound a little behind. I think you should ask the health visitor or GP for some help.

It may be nothing, but all of those things can be signs he needs some extra help so I would say you need to get him seen. I would start with speech therapist. In our area (Ireland so may be different where you are) if they don't have 10 words by 18 months they will accept a referral. The ramming food in mouth, licking toys and cuddling/clinging on to strangers might be sensory seeking behavior. I have a sensory seeking son and he rams food in constantly and is the absolute best at tight hugs. Occupational Therapy helps sensory seeking but if you start with SLT they will direct you to any other referrals he might need, or just reassure you that there is nothing to worry about.

Thank you all. @MistyFrequencies thanks for this. Does being sensory seeking mean there he could be struggling in some way? Aren't all kids sensory seeking? Sorry for my ignorance. Been trying to Google but keep getting info on sensory classes!

I'm trying with SLT. They have referred him for hearing test which is in couple of weeks. Other than that they sent me a leaflet and asked if I wanted to do a parenting class. Trying not to get defensive about that. But so far they keep telling me to read to him and talk to him and I have done both those things all the time since birth. I don't know why the hugging strangers is the thing that worried me...but he clings to their legs and hugs them like he knows them...I thought it was sweet but keep seeing looks other parents give me like there is something wrong.

I don't care one jot if he's just behind and have no interest in comparison but I keep getting told "he will get there in how own time" but nothing is improving, hardly any progress for months. My mum instinct is telling me something isn't OK. just feeling so worried and anxious for him

Get advice from a health visitor. My little boy seemed to me 'different' at this age. Nursery said he should have spoken more blah blah. He is in Year 2 now and caught up tremendously. Kids develop at very different rates. I spoke to a HV and SEND person at nursery. There were some red flags but he's doing fine now.

Google Sensory Processing Disorder. That will give you info re sensory seeking. That's my son, it may not be yours so please don't worry. But loads of people told me I was worrying about nothing and I knew in my gut he needed extra support so trust your gut. You're his mum, you know him best.
With speech /language it sounds like you're doing everything right. The best info I got was to say the words you want him to say e.g. if you know he wants water, instead of saying "do you want water?" you say "water please mummy" so he hears the words and can copy them.
I'd do the parenting class. I did one and it was actually really useful, though I was really skeptical initially.

Also, use the five finger rule. Give 5 comments for every one question you ask, giving him loads of language input e.g. if playing with cars say "red car" "the red car is big" "the big red car is driving, vrmm vrmm" "the big red car is driving up the ramp" " the big red car is driving quickly up the ramp" and then you can say "give mummy the red car" or some other questions/direction. You'll feel ridiculous at first but my son's language has really improved with this.

I wouldn't panic. They really are all different.

At 2 even later than two mine didn't speak at all.
Didn't crawl.

A few interfering people including my then FIL insisted I take her to the doctors. I didn't heed his ill informed advice.

I knew they all develop differently.

One day she just got up and started walking. Talking a bit later and then didn't stop.

At nearly sixteen she is a straight A student.

Oh, and mine used to hug anybody that was going at that age...fellow toddlers (who did'nt always appreciate it)....

@beigebrownblue

I wouldn't panic. They really are all different.

At 2 even later than two mine didn't speak at all.
Didn't crawl.

A few interfering people including my then FIL insisted I take her to the doctors. I didn't heed his ill informed advice.

I knew they all develop differently.

One day she just got up and started walking. Talking a bit later and then didn't stop.

At nearly sixteen she is a straight A student.

Conversely, mine was similar, walked at 23 months and ended up in special school.

Children are all different, but if you have concerns you need to raise them. If there is nothing to worry about you'll be told. But if there is something, then the earlier you get support, the better.

Thank you @MistyFrequencies - I have googled it and I think there are some signs or similarities. I will definitely speak to our HV about it. Thank you for sharing this. I had never heard it before. I feel like I'm getting mugged off by professionals who probably just see another mum worrying for no reason. But I know him and I see him struggling. And nothing is changing. I will try new techniques. I'm considering going private to get things to move quicker but it would mean I was properly broke but I find it so so slow and hard to get appointments

No problem @AnotherGo. Given your boy has a mum who loves him as much as you clearly do he will be absolutely fine, no matter what.

Thank you. That means a lot xx

Also surely being in a pandemic might be the cause of some of this? You simply haven't got the opportunities to do as much with him as you normally would. If he is a tiny bit "behind" but you've kept him safe and well during these awful 18 months quite frankly you deserve a prize - not to beat yourself up. Is he a happy little boy? Then you're a great mum.

This may not be the case for you or your DS, but I thought I might leave this here incase anyone else reading needs it. The pandemic and screen time may not have helped, like I said I'm in the same boat. But my DS has greatly improved since tv has been removed.
drexel.edu/now/archive/2020/April/Screen-time-for-babies-linked-with-autism-like-symptoms/