Need help/advice on three-year-old sleeping habits

[courtney25]

Hi,

I'm having a nightmare with my 3 year old and wondered if anybody has advice/tips. Me and my partner got him in bad habits by always lying down with him to go to bed. So that is the main issue he won't sleep unless one of us are literally laying down with him which honestly drives me mad. My 1 year old goes to bed by himself fine but my 3 year old won't. I tried a couple times to make him go by himself but he got up so many times I gave up and laid with him. Also normally he will go to bed at 7pm but the last couple weeks he is refusing to go! Like it's now nearly 8 and he won't go. I'm shattered! I need more structure and routine please any help!! Just to add he is 4 In a few weeks

Is he napping?
Does one of you always do bedtime? Could the other try?
I'd try either holding hand, swap for Teddy etc you being in the room, phasing out
Have you tried explaining mummy needs to do xyz and leaving for a bit.
I must admit my almost 3 year old falls asleep in my arms most nights but of it gets late I pop him in bed and tell him shout daddy. Or say I'm going toilet, shower etc he falls asleep while I'm gone.

Sticker chart? Have a good discussion first about being a big boy and if you stay in your bed all night you get a sticker, if you get five stickers you get a treat?
With 8pm bedtimes - is his bedroom very bright? My DD3 is also a bit thrown by the light evenings at the moment and insists that it can’t be bedtime if the sun isn’t asleep 🤦‍♀️

As PP said as well - if he’s still having naps, even stealth naps in the car, I’d try and cut those out.

What time does he get up? 3 year olds need between 10 and 13 hours sleep. If he is going to sleep at 8 and getting up at 7 that’s 11 hours sleep and well within normal for the at age group. If you want him to sleep longer than trying increasing exercise.

My daughter was cuddled to sleep to around this age. We made sure we had a really good evening routine, no screens for 2 hours before bed, bath, books cuddles, she talked in advance about changes and then I would say good night. I would tell her I was going to clean the kitchen for 10 mins and I would be back to cuddle her and I would go back after 10 mins, the next week I would go back after 15 mins and the next 20 mins. Then she eventually would start falling asleep by herself.

Sticker charts. They have worked amazingly with my two. We used them with both around 2.5 years.

Doing it with my youngest at the moment and it's pretty funny to watch her be so determined to stay in bed.

We spoke about it before and how staying in bed was good and earned stickers. If they got enough stickers they got a toy. Daughter is working towards some frozen things for when she starts preschool lol.

With both it worked the first night