Looking for reassurance/advice

[LookingThroughYourEyes]

My LO is 4 months old and we have bonded so well. Prior to the last 2 weeks I have felt quite confident and that everything is going well, DH and I have been a good team and we have been supportive of each other. We had some difficulty in our relationship while I was pregnant but we were working through it.

However, there have been some external factors recently that have been causing quite a bit of stress and I feel like I've fallen apart a bit under the pressure particularly the last week. All of a sudden I feel overwhelmed, I've found myself wishing that we were in lockdown again because I'm finding everything too demanding and that I don't have enough time for anything and that friends and family seem to have forgotten that we're a new family unit. I can't keep up with everything and I've gotten upset the last few days more than I normally would have. Yesterday, DP and I got into an argument and voices were raised and even though it has since been resolved, I feel like I've let my LO down. I feel a lot of guilt and I can't stop thinking about it. I've always been very interested in psychology and have been reading more about types of attachment and now I am so upset that maybe our forming a secure attachment will be impacted because she heard me upset and heard us argue. This is not a common occurrence but it is causing me so much anxiety.

I felt like I was managing so well with everything and somehow for the past week, I feel like I'm failing at everything that I do. Do other people feel this way?

Be kind. Please.

Hey, go easier on yourself- you have a new baby, you've just grown that baby for nine months, and you're doing a great job.
Try and take a step back from things outside your home- friends and family will still be there later, but you need to take time to yourself/yourselves if you need it. At four months, there's a big growth spurt, and that can be hard work, so you'll be more tired and need more rest too.

All couples argue at some point, and you e said it's rare for you, so don't worry about a one-off.

These early months are so hard, keep on keeping on!

If you need to cut down on socialising then you do that. This is your baby, not theirs.

That said I'd totally lie about it for the sake of an easier life! I'd say I'm a bit off colour, or we've been told to isolate, or the health visitor says the baby needs to be kept away from the new strain of covid, or that we are already doing something on that day - anything that buys a break from people without dealing with a row or guilt tripping.

I would tell visitors that you don’t have time for them at the moment because you need to prioritise baby and you’re finding it too much to have visitors. I have 2 under 2 and I don’t have people over during the week when DH is at work because I need to do what I can to keep the day on track and I also find it too much. If they want to visit they can do so on the weekend when DH is home.

There’s always overwhelming moments here and there with babies so remind yourself that the overall picture looks good and the bond you have with your baby will be fine.